Friday, May 6, 2011

22 Review on Tila's Royal Wedding Commentary

Hello, everybody! I have not disappeared. I have been busy writing this entry for the past few days now. Sorry I couldn't get this done sooner as you know how life can be: Shit comes up or you're just too lazy. Anyways, I thought I wanted to show you my work in progress to keep you guys entertained. Hopefully, I'll get this done soon enough. In the meantime, please enjoy!

A quick letter to Tila Tequila: Dear Tila, I regretfully inform you my absence to watch your live commentary was compromised and was unable to view your session as sleep was more imperative on my part, so I hope you'll understand and not be disappointed upon this information, thanks.

Sincerely, QOCAP

C O N T E N T S: (listed in no particular order)

I was reluctant about making a transcript of Tila's royal commentary because the thought of typing down every words (or the words that I could hear) and the video being almost an hour long, weren't very appealing to me. Much to my distress, actually. But, the motivation behind the transcript was the royal wedding after all. Had it been for something else, I would not even bother. So, this is indeed a special report. Will I do this again? Well, it has to be interesting and special and I'm very fortunate it's so seldom.

I've made the transcript because I do not find Tila's voice pretty at all. If I had to do a comparison, she has the same level of nuisance to Rosie O'Donnell. Not just their voice, but looks as well if I may add. The transcript is also useful when it comes to picking out Tila's most ludicrous statements (such as believing Prince Charles and Princess Diana's wedding has some connections with Tila's birth) and not have to bother listening or seeing her disgusting face on my beautiful monitor.


T I L A 'S     C O M M E N T A R Y     O V E R V I E W
I've read some opinions before having my chance of watching Tila's post-live video and it doesn't surprise me of the things people said. I was rather embarrassed throughout the entire segment and had the urge of punching her in the face like never before. Did any one of you wanted to just...jump on your monitor and choke that stupid alien bitch like I did?! My blood boiled, literally.

I will state the obvious: Tila Tequila does not know how to comment, let alone, comprehend that word. Despite the fact her royal wedding commentary is terrible and offensive, but there is a special side to this clip for the wrong reason on Tila's behalf: Unlike live segments, we are under no pressure of fearing mistakes as it can be corrected and have the luxury of taking our time when needed. Since her commentary video was live, we had an opportunity to observe the way she thinks (yeah, who knew?) and how she conveys her thoughts into words. And I tell you, the result is hilarious...and sad, too, but mostly hilarious.

From my observation, Tila looked uncomfortable, if not, anxious, and I think I know why: 1: Commenting on a subject you know nothing about and 2: your lack of intelligence. When you don't have those tools, you're bound to make an ass out of yourself and be a laughingstock to whomever is watching you. In the world of media, publicity stunts are necessary...even if you're among the Z-List category like this twit for an example. Whatever stunts Tila did and you thought it was clever, remember it was all strategically planned out by her PR and not Tila herself. If you've read the transcript or simply watched her video, it makes you wonder, right? I mean, for someone who claims to read these type of books, sure can't say anything without sounding retarded. Publicity stunt perhaps? I beg to differ. Tila is just a stupid alien whore.

Throughout the segment, Tila seemed clueless about the British Monarchy and to pass time, resorted to talking about herself, singing Christmas songs, and even offended the people of United Kingdom by purposely calling William, Henry. And for that, I would like to personally offer a sincere apology to the people of UK. She is an embarrassment to the United States. How did Tila got into this commentary bandwagon to begin with? According to her, Ustream have asked her to. Not because they thought she would do a wonderful job, but for this very reason: To see her make a total ass out of herself. I doubt the ad revenue made lots of profit off her video, so my sentiment's gotta be right!

Along with her incoherent speech, I'm sure people were annoyed whenever she fidgets with her hair, along with that incessant lip-smacking of hers. We understand she suffers from dyskinesia and not from a car accident as she claims, but for God's sake, it's annoying as hell. Her epic "live" video surely supported our evidence of Tila's own stupidity and her inability to convey thoughts into words that resonates a mature, intelligent woman, but rather, of a child. So the question now becomes, does Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen suffer from a speech impediment? This will be further discussed in the appropriate section.

And lastly, there was a special guest appearance! That's right! Caroline took over Miss Tila's alien body and babbled shit here and there. But, no, really. It was just Tila trying to talk with a British accent and failing miserably at it. Seriously. Her kiddie and perverted fans must tell her to shut the fuck up and go back to hooking.


T O   R E S P E C T   O R   N O T   T O   R E S P E C T?
"I just don't want to disrespect the royal wedding because this is a very historic moment and this is...uh, you know, my live commentary on the royal wedding. So, I'm just having fun with it but, um, I can have a lot more fun with it but I don't want to disrespect this moment because this is a very special moment." - Tila Tequila

This is a fucking idiot who shows up on her webcam, dressed up like a whore, talking mostly about herself, and deliberately referring William to his younger brother, Henry. All the above is enough to show Tila was mocking and disrespecting the people of United Kingdom since the beginning of her shitty commentary that isn't remotely a commentary to begin with. Why do I think Tila was bullshitting us about William's name? Are you kidding me? When all of us heard about the royal wedding, it was clearly said, shown, and written, who was betrothed. How can anyone miss that memo when it's been rubbed on our faces?

I have more to back up my theory. Since I didn't watch it live and still haven't seen it (as I have no interest in seeing so), I would assume there was a subject title that says something like "Live royal wedding of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Kate Middleton" on your screen. Prince William's name was mentioned at 04: 53 and yet, she still called him Henry afterward. At one point, Tila said she keeps getting Henry mixed up with Harry. Another time, a chatter asked her a dumbass question and added, "and it's William." So, what does she do and say? Tila gave a smug and answered a question instead. The only time she was close of getting his name right was Will and Kate from "Will and Grace."

So, what was her purpose of calling William, Henry then? Isn't it obvious? To get the media talking about her latest stupidity. After all, no publicity is bad publicity! At this point, I wouldn't call it stupidity, but a failed attempt to get the world all riled up. If no one will remember what I'll say, I'll probably be a desperate idiot and do the same and have people remember me for getting names mixed up just like people remember Paris Hilton for her sex tape.


P A P A R A Z Z I   A N D   T H E   M ED I A
"I feel so bad for them because there's so much media and press going on...and so much pressure on them that they can't enjoy their wedding and there's these young kids who're just in love and wanna get married but they have this whole world on their shoulders right now to make it like a job and all the media and the paparazzi which unfortunately...killed Princess Diana..." Tila Tequila

What a stupid bitch.

I don't care what is Tila's relationships with the paparazzi, but the media is not too friendly to her and their disdain has its own merit and to retaliate, says something what a stupid, vindictive, ignorant woman would say. There's always a controversy and Princess Diana's death is no exception. So, don't be shoot your fucking mouth off (unless it's sperm) if you don't have facts, let alone, evidence to back up your case, you dumb bitch!

Yes, I agree what happened to Princess Diana is tragic, like with so many unfortunate deaths of others, but to solely blame it on the paparazzi and the media is really stupid. And for the record, William and Kate are not celebrities, nor kids. They are part of the British Monarchy and privacy is sacrificed. Let the world know Tila phones many paparazzi as possible and later bitches about not having privacy of her own. Yeah, stupid and desperate much?


T I L A 'S   S E X U A L I T Y
"Do you guys think I'll end up marrying a guy or girl? A lot of people ask me that question but, um, you know, it's just...I don't-I don't see people as colors know, gay, straight, lesbian, or black, white, Asian, I just...I just...when I meet someone, I just find a bond with them and I don't think about whether it's a guy or girl."

Am I the only one who doesn't give a rat's ass about her sexual orientation? I mean, really, Tila? You're still annoying people with your "oh, guess my preference" shit? She acts like the world wants to be with her. I can't think of a person in their right mind wanting to win her heart! I mean, seriously! Tila is such a trashy piece of meat that I could have sworn I saw maggots somewhere on her body! With so many people she has fucked with, you can expect your relationship with her turn sour within a week. Tila is a nymphomaniac, therefore, will cheat on you. Here's a warning to anyone thinking about dating her: She'll break your heart. Find someone else who isn't a narcissist. Don't take my word for it. Tila tweeted it herself.

So, Tila doesn't view people based on their race and sexuality, correct? explain these tweets to us, please: "No homo" and "Cuz 1st of all, that Monkey face dude who beats women didn't sue ME for 2million. I SUED HIM!!!! & I did NOT LOSE THAT CASE! TMZ IS SHIT."

Tila, sweetie, I understand you're a narcissist with some serious issues, but, do you ever ask yourself: Why do I have so many haters? Well, I hope you'll have a moment of clarity some day and come to your senses, I really do. And your ambiguous answer regarding about your sexual preference does not impress me one bit. If you choose a girl, I don't care. If you choose a guy, I don't care, either. Why make this a big fucking deal? NO ONE CARES.


I have this really old book called "Personality and the Behavioral Disorders", published in 1984 to be exact. I would like to share an excerpt despite it being archaic. The definition from its past and present are still relatively the same.

Histrionic, Narcissistic, and Paranoid Personality Disorders
"Although these disorders are distinguished across several critical dimensions, it can be observed that individuals so labeled share a penchant for drawing attention to themselves. Histrionic behavior is characterized by overly dramatic, reactive, and intense emotional behaviors and disturbances in interpersonal functioning. Requirements for DMS-III diagnosis include at least three of the following symptoms: self-dramatization, or exaggerated affective expressions; incessant attention seeking; craving for activity and excitement; overreaction to insignificant events, and irrational, angry outbursts or tantrums.

At least two disturbances in interpersonal relationships are needed, and histrionic persons are often described as insincere, shallow, egocentric, self-indulgent, inconsiderate, vain, demanding, dependent, helpless, manipulative, and/or constantly seeking reassurance. If these characteristics are present and stable across situations in constellation, it is not difficult to imagine that interpersonal styles are aversive and detrimental to forming lasting emotional bonds among adults.

  Histrionic behaviors or inclinations have been observed among men, but diagnosticians consider this disorder to be more closely associated with the feminine gender. Cloninger et al. (1975) suggested that women whose behavior is antisocial are often labeled hysterical as opposed to so sociopathic. It has been questioned whether hysteria is a milder, feminine manifestation of sociopathy antisocial personality. That is, whether this is a diagnostic bias among clinicians or whether, in fact, hysteria represents sex-specific behavior is not known. Nevertheless, women who are classified as histrionic are often said to be physically attractive and seductive in their sexual behavior. They are described as generating high initial interpersonal appeal, but their interpersonal relationships are said to be intense and short-lived.

The histrionic person is characterized as one who attempts to control others through interpersonal manipulation. Further, as has been said of women collectively, histrionic persons typically show little interest in intellectual pursuits and are easily influenced, particularly by authority figures. Somatic complaints are also cited as common.

  The history narcissistic personality disorder can be traced to Freud's early writings (Freud, 1914/1957). Recent descriptions, however, differ substantially from Freud's original formulations. According to the DSM-III conceptualization, the narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by grandiose notions of self-importance or uniqueness; fantasies of unlimited success, power, or ideal love; exhibitionism, and need for constant attention and admiration; and cool indifference or rage, shame, and humiliation in response to criticism, indifference of others, or failure. The DSM=III also requires at least two of the following features: feeling of entitlement or expectation of special favors without assuming reciprocal responsibilities; exploitativeness; fluctuations between extreme feelings of over-idealization and devaluation; and, absence of empathic regard.

Narcissistic individuals are said to be more concerned with appearance than substance and to engage in activities for the benefit of impression rather than self-satisfaction. Commonly associated features include depression, somatic complaints, deception, and transient psychotic symptomatology."

Here's something that caught my eyes. "Narcissistic individuals are said to be more concerned with appearance than substance and to engage in activities for the benefit of impression rather than self-satisfaction."
Here are some of other narcissistic people, both real and fictional:

"I'm sorry for looking a little bit...disgruntled...or, that's not the word. I'm sorry if I've looked a little bit um, not fixed up for whatever, but uh, it's three thirty in the morning! I'm in my bed! Soooo, um, yeah."

Oh, really, Tila?



BigPoppaPhat said...

I watched the first 5 minutes, all she kept saying was omg Henry looks so nervous. I wasn't gonna waste my time. Thanks for the great post and the lol's

deluwiel said...

You're braver than I am, QoCap. I got through the last 4 or 5 minutes of her live and that was all I could handle. BTW - she pulled the name Henry out of butt - William's brother is called Harry.
Anyway, I don't believe it was a PR ploy - I think she realized in her meth-addled brain that this wedding thing was getting a lot of media coverage so by God she was going to attach her name to it somehow. She didn't bother to prepare because it didn't involve her personally so it wasn't worth it to her to find out any of the details. I swear I read or saw somewhere, (or maybe she said it in her 'commentary' toward the end when I was watching) that she wasn't sure what country the wedding was taking place in. If you find that in your review please highlight it!
Anyway, that narcissistic/histrionic disorder description could have been written about Tila. Seriously. It couldn't be plainer. She's mentally ill and needs professional help, but she's alienated ('alien' - see what I did there? I kill myself) anyone and everyone who might have cared enough to get her help.

Mary said...

I got totally distracted by your narcicissm post, very interesting read. I watched all of ten minutes of Tila's commentary and had to stop, not just because it was embarassing but also because, well, it was so lonely. I know the wedding was broadcast live and very early in the morning over in the US but it was just sad to see the contrast between millions of people celebrating and one lonely 30 year old with her laptop in bed.

Anyways! Just wanted to make a quick post to say our beloved Homerbartt ain't real. Awwwww... :(

Just reading through the flog, musing over his razor-sharp wit when he fucked up and asked someone what 'Lulz' means. That was when my heart sank and I realised HB is a figment of someone's boredom. How does someone who spends every waking moment on the internet not know what 'Lulz' means? The poor troll just had to go and play too dumb.

Awwsumkitteh said...

"If no one will remember what I'll say, I'll probably be a desperate idiot and do the same and have people remember me for getting names mixed up just like people remember Paris Hilton for her sex tape."

I believe Regis Philbin already holds the gold metal for never ever getting people's names right the first time.

deluwiel said...

@Mary - I always suspected he wasn't who he claimed to be; it was all just too weird to be real. However, what's equally weird is someone who would pretend to be that weird because he finds people's responses entertaining or funny or whatever. I don't get that, either. In any case, HB is a sad, strange, lonely, emotionally stunted individual.

The more I think about it, the more I think he SHOULD show up on Tila's doorstep. They'd actually make the perfect couple.

Really Tila? said...

Thank you so much for the wonderful post. I appreciate you taking the time to wad through her garbage as it was one time I couldn't stomach one single word of anything that came out of her mouth seeing how much I love and appreciate the British Monarchy! I did want to make note of those wondering why she was calling him "Henry". His brother's nickname is Harry, but his actual full name is Henry Charles Albert David. Just a little royal factoid.

Joann said...

"@OfficialMsTila Miss Tila
Also my new website is launching soon, so starting on the 9th, will be temporarily down while switch to new site! YAY!
53 minutes ago via web" when do you guys think it will be back up? Since she didn't give a date I'm going with anywhere from 2-6 months.

Also, I'm going to see how long it takes her to name a winner for her video contest with her AOI's. She was suppose to do it on May 5th but forgot it was Cinco de Mayo so she took off. LMAO.

Out of a 24 hour day how long would it have taken her to name a winner on her piece of crap blog and post what they won.

Tila reads this blog so she might name a winner just to "prove" a hater was wrong.

Vincent said...

Great job

Monique said...

Tina is probably trying to figure out what contestant lives the closest before announcing them the "winner". Hoguls need to save on postage POW!

Sobe said...

Tila busted in a huge lie here says when she wrote about Rihanna having herpes on her blog it got over 500,000 hits. Her blog hasn't even came close to ever getting that many hits since she started it. The whole interview is one big joke. You guys might have seen it before but I never had.

Michelle said...

Firstly QOCAP this post is fucking brilliant, I thoroughly enjoyed it! Thank you for keeping this bog up and also to the all the posters, you guys never fail to amaze me
I noticed hogul bitch still hasn't posted a winner for her lame ass contest and while at first I kinda felt sorry for the people who bothered to enter, but then o thought you know what? Water seeks it's own level and if these sheep want to idolize someone who will permanently let them down and lie 24/7 then it's tree problem. It's vintage Tina to promise something and not follow through so I now have zero sympathy for the AOI
Homerbartt is definitely a fake, he's now posting veiled references to wanting breast milk directy from Tina, all coincidently after it was mentioned by a hater. Surprise surprise now he starts with simialr talk of his own and referring to his leader as mommy tila...this is stuff he knows will inflame comments and them of course garner more hits on the flog. Tool!!
Ps Joann, thank you for the birthday wishes :) I live in Australia so we're working together with the US in Afghanistan and Iraq. Al-chaeda bombed a place called Bali, it's the main tourist city in indonesia were a lot of Aussies go for holidays. They bombed one of most popular nightclubs where they knew a high number of Australians would be and a lot of people lost their lives. This was back in 2003 and since then no further attacks on that scale but I continue to hope and pray nothing like that or Sept 11 happens again

Mary said...

@deluwiel Really good point, even if our beloved HB isn't genuinely some unemployed Swedish freak it doesn't make him/her any less odd. If it is someone just doing this for giggles that's a hell of a lot of dedication for nothing... actually that makes it even weirder.
Personally I love HB and his/her unrelenting retardedness! Who doesn't love a bit (read: ALOT) of stupidity occassionally? (I mean occassionally on my behalf, I can't read his shit all the time)

@Monique: HAHAHAAA!!

Awwsumkitteh said...

*off topic*

Happy Mother's Day from one Mommy to another!


As for Tila's commentary: I still haven't watched the whole thing and I'm debating whether or not I should.

BigPoppaPhat said...

^ its worse than watching an episode of Beavis & Butthead. I guess if like to huff gasoline for an hour you could probably sit through this, cause the effects in the brain are about the same.
Much props to qocap for taking one for the team.

Joann said...

Most of the AOI's are on twitter wishing the skank a "Happy Mother's Day"...this is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard.

Her piece of crap blog is suppose to go down tomorrow and as far as I know she has not chosen a winner. Don't think she intends to pick a winner and don't believe she has watched one video.

It would be a good thing if she never comes back with a blog of any kind....she had nothing positive or entertaining to contribute anyway.

Moogle said...

im so mad!!! I still cant find that 1 video I absolutely LOVED and made it for the contest! UGH! I guess I'll just go on ahead without it 8:56 PM May 2nd via web

Ahhh Im SO pissed! Im about to post the blog to announce the winner's but there's this ONE video I really LOVED and now I can't find it! AHH 8:04 PM May 2nd via web


Hmmm... Am I reading this wrong? Did she just admit that she made a video that she "absolutely LOVED" "for the contest"? I'll wager that this will be the one she picks as the winner. Go figure. Alien retardobot.

Monique said...

Good catch Moogle.

So who thinks this new piece of crap will be up in 10 days?

She promised some of her AOIs that she would be promoting them to "general" and they will be allowed to moderate at her new site. I'm looking forward to seeing how that plays out.

Monique said...

Congrats Moogle, you predicted the winning video! Wow you have some scary skills. @:-) Get this, Tina had extended the deadline to submit videos to April 30th, the winning video was uploaded on May 1st! It gets even better, now Mittens is all butthurt saying he doesn't think the contest was fair because he was technically the winner at 1:15pm on the day the contest was suppose to end. It is so fitting that he lost because Tina let the voting go for extra days, when his video shouldn't of been considered since it was uploaded months before to the winning video that also should be disqualified for entering too late.

BigPoppaPhat said...

Oh well the whole contest was one big clusterfuck anyway, and as usual Tila BS'ed her way out of handing out any prize. From 5000 fabulous prizes, to 0. From "Helping out Japan", to just "who's the biggest Tila asskisser". From the top ten winners, to one from the top five, to one from the top ten, to one of the top eleven, to the winner is some unknown user with a random video that was uploaded after the deadline. Haha this might be the biggest Tila fail so far this year

Joann said...

Well, she picked a winner!!! From reading the comments on here and her twitter I see it was uploaded after the deadline and the person who sent it in is unknown? Hmmmmmmm.
Poor Mittiee is beside himself and questioning her decision. lol.

@Monique...the skank said she would put up a splash page and would let the army know when the new site will be up. Her "webteam" is hard at work on the new site. LOL.

IMO, her "webteam" is some poor smuck who can do web design and she's probably paying him in sex and a few dollars to get this new piece of crap up. I'm thinking it will be up in time for Xmas.

Remember how Gary said he, by himself, did a lot of work on her old site for her? Tila said she had a "team" back then too.

lalabinks said...

I wonder if her new site will costed her $30,000 to set up.

deluwiel said...

@lalabinks - you know it will. $30,000 is the magic number that says "I'm mogul-rich-successful"

I could never figure that out. Every time she wants to make something sound important/prestigious/high level it "costed" $30,000.