Sunday, June 27, 2010

1 an Analysis of Internet's shittest Website:

The horror began on February 1st, 2010 and probably on a night of twitter fighting with Perez Hilton and Titla Bacteria, somewhat sober, said to herself, "shit, who the fuck does Perez think he is?! I bet I could run a better...wait! That's what I'm gonna do!" After all, Tila's dream is to become a singer...well, a huge actress first. People often change their dreams as time flies by and it happened with her, so it's singing now and apparently came true, abeit, can't sing regardless.

Originally, Tila created ostensibly to spread celebrity news, but really to feed her narcissistic side.

I never realized Tila has so many fucking domain names because she changed it to and is a redirect url. She's neglected her hotspot website ever since and is going to launch tilamerch, her crappy online store. I don't bother visiting her hotspotdating site (fear it may have cpu virus) either, but, I wouldn't be surprised if she's neglecting that site as well.

Call me sick or crazy, but I did quite an extensive research (part of being absent for few days because of this) on, and this is what I know: First, allow me to introduce you guys's three staffs: misstilaomg, TILA STAFF, and Mr.Bradshaw - FASHION EDITOR. Obviously, we all know who misstilaomg is. TILA STAFF is either Tila herself or supposedly her sister, Terri, but I suspect it's Tila because of their uncanny similar writing styles being too hard to dismiss, and Mr.Bradshaw...before researching, I thought he was one of Tila's multiple personalities, but he is actually real and runs a website.

While I believe Mr.Bradshaw associates with Tila's gossip site to some degree, but he does not write entries as Tila wants us to think because of similar writing style like TILA STAFF. Speaking of style, Tila Tequila is a twenty-eight-year-old (or older) woman whose grammar is so horrid, I think she has a learning disability. A trivia about me: English is not my native language and I came to America at age six and is proud to say my abilities to express words, be it verbal or writing, certainly surpasses hers. Here's an example of Tila's idiotic blogging:

Not only she cannot spell, dimwit can't convey words with style, either. It's as if she's in a hurry to have much contents as possible. Quality does not matter, only quantity. I'm very flawed with my writing as it is, but always fix errors (if I can spot them) and proof-read before clicking the publish button. Do I want to know what's going on inside her head? Probably not.

Let's say, besides misstilaomg, TILA STAFF and Mr.Bradshaw - FASHION EDITOR are in fact, her. So, why have one entry written by misstilaomg and other by TILA STAFF? Well, besides trying to make it look like she has staffs working for her (after all, she claims to have 25-30 besides making a million each year), I think emotions play an important role. For instance, in her pathetic narcissistic "Dear Diary" and "T.Army" categories, it would written by misstilaomg. And if it's just news, she would go by the name of TILA STAFF, to empathize she doesn't care and wants the ignorant to think it was written by a staff. Mr.Bradshaw's name only makes an appearance when it's an award show or Tila in some event related, otherwise, is the quietest. The screenshot below is allegedly written by Mr.Bradshaw, but, this style is so Tila Tequila!

Secondly, despite obtaining photos from other websites, mainly Wire Image, Tila Tequila likes to watermark all photos, even if they're not hers. Yes, a strange behavior, isn't it? I don't know if this is caused by paranoia or downright stupidity. I prefer the latter. Watermarking photos should be her least concern if you ask me. It's embarrassing having visitors correcting her errors. It's rare visitors are your editors and not your staffs.

Before spreading her virus, here's a screenshot of what she'd promised us:

Tila Tequila disappointed her fans by stating her gossip site will be launched in April, but did not open to public til May. It is June, few days away from July and her site is really shitty. I mean, really shitty. She has not dethroned Perez Hilton and the only "exclusive" interview she made was with some Russian boxer, Ruslan Provodnikov, whom, I'm sure most of the people never heard of. To make it more exclusive and live by her "lying" words, she was dumb enough to make a "how to" videos...specifically love related and not something educational like poverty or endangered species awareness for an example.

So, Tila thinks her gossip site is the best and no other entertainment/celebrity gossip sites have the same features like hers. Well, if the feature she's thinking about includes myriad of stupidity, then, well yeah. She's absolutely right. If she thinks and are dumb and so inferior to hers, it's ineffable to describe how I would feel because those websites not only have more contents, but have videos of famous celebrities, plus interviews, not some boxer. NOTE: I am aware Perez Hilton is no way near like, but at least his website is taken seriously and hence, was offered twenty million dollars for his domain.

While researching, I found an entry of Tila saying she's going to give us make-up lessons:

As far as I'm concerned, she has never made such videos.

After completing my research, I've come to a conclusion that should be obvious: You can't take her gossip site seriously, not even for entertainment! Why? Well, for one, news are already posted elsewhere, and if it's exclusive, it's usually about Tila, herself. Celebrity gossip is not about you. Perez Hilton is guilty, but Tila Tequila is very guilty. Dear Diary, T.Army, and H.O.T.W (Hottie of the Week)? I think this scheme of running her so-called celebrity gossip site to get media attention (besides faking suicide) was quite clever of her. After all, who goes to her hotspot website now these days? If I'm right about this scheme, then, it comes with a price: She has to blog about real celebrities on regular basis, otherwise, people will begin to suspect TILASTAFF and her 25-30 staffs are among her multiple personality personalities like Jane and Caroline.

Even when her gossip site is new, already she made an ass out of herself by writing an entry about an article from The Onion website, forgetting to realize that website is a satire or her staffs are stupid as hell like Tila. A wise move was made when she deleted her entry.

When running a celebrity gossip site, here's how not to run a celebrity gossip site:

1.) Make a Dear Diary section.- No one came to read about your damned journals. They want celebrity news, hence, its name.

2.) Pretend to have a list of staffs. - If you want to convince visitors to think there are staffs, try not to have similar grammatical writing style, do show their faces and use their real names.

3. Bitch if other website stole your exclusives and demand readers to spread the news. - It's unlikely very popular gossip sites don't come to your shitty site anyways and no one gives a shit.

4. Write an entry about an event that took place a day ago and treat it as if it were new. - If you don't have news, remain silent until you do. No one gives a shit about your Dear Diary or Thought of the day and Hottie of the Week as a substitution.

5. Publish anything. - This is a gossip site. Never try to wage war against someone who's more successful than you by asking fans to create such videos like "why I hate Perez Hilton" and immaturely insult him on regular basis.

6. Talk about your Army and Haters. - It's embarrassing this website is suppose to be a celebrity gossip and yet, visitors have to endure seeing titles like "TilaArmy of the Week" and "Hater of the Week". Do you not realize how childish and stupid you look when you do that?

7. Don't worry about spelling and use CAPS LOCK. - Reading her entries makes me ponder who is really writing these shit? Her or some kid?

8. Archive really old pictures of yourself. - How is this relevant besides feeding your narcissistic side is beyond me. I see no relevance.

So, there you have it.

Why is Tila Tequila hating Perez Hilton? Because he's more successful and popular than her, that's why. She's a "jealous hater."

And you're calling Perez a pedophile? How mature of you, Tila. Really. She's twenty-eight in case you've forgotten. This woman is fixated and hates Perez Hilton with passion. Going through most of her entries, it's clear to me she's trying to adapt his style. In the beginning, she used to doodle on pictures (like Perez) and seldom continues after being criticized. Most of her entries are about Miley Cyrus, Twilight celebrities, Justin Bieber, Amber Rose, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Perez Hilton, and herself. To me, if you want to run a successful celebrity gossip site, you'll need to expand more. I'm just say'n.

Speaking of Lindsay Lohan. It was entertaining to read how Tila tried to get her attention by writing an "open letter" and when not getting a response, let alone, failed to convince Lohan to join Celebrity Rehab with her, Tila lashes out and praised after news broke out regarding about Lohan might go to jail. "LINDSAY LOHAN MAY GO TO JAIL! HALLELUJAH!!!" Google it if you don't believe me. She was very excited when news broke out about Perez might face jail time as well. "PIGGY PEREZ MAY FACE JAIL TIME FOR CHILD PORN!" This is not a celebrity gossip site. It's just a facade. Like I said, she's using this tactic to get media's attention, harvest more underaged fans, and insult anybody she can...well, insult.

Like I said, after doing extensive research, I'm able to explain how unique each category is and let me tell you, there's nothing unique about them. In fact, they're more like tags. If categories are not unique, then why have them you may ask? My only guess is to make it look like there's more than there really is. The only thing I find muddling about her categories is why some entries are displayed in wrong places to begin with. For instance, an entry about John Travolta and Angelina Jolie would not be appropriate in the T.Army section.

NEWS - Everything blogged will be in this section, including Dear Diary and T.Army to name a few.

EXCLUSIVES - So far, the only exclusive she ever had was uploading a video interview with some Russian Boxer I've never heard of and a love-advice video. Otherwise, there are really no exclusives and it's just another "Dear Diary" section with a different name. In Tila's mind, this is an exclusive:

FEATURED: - I could never understand this section. It's like the NEWS category, only less tagged. In other words, nothing unique or interesting. Moving on.

FASHION - A section where you'll be seeing Mr.Bradshaw - FASHION EDITOR's name, pictures of celebrities at award shows, and photos of Tila at some event, polluting the place unfortunately.

H.O.T.W - Hottie of the Week. Like her Dear Diary section, this is the place where she likes to title herself as "Hottie of the Week" by archiving really old pictures of herself. Though, she does have some other celebrities listed there, but very seldom.

SPOTLIGHT - Another pointless NEWS section, but under a new name.

T.Army - A place where she publishes her underaged fan photos and their disturbing love letters. You would think this section lack pages, but, for an unknown reason, she likes to tag irrelevant entries in here as well.

TEQUILA SHOTS - Like Spotlight, another pointless NEWS section, but under a new name.

TILA TV! - A section from entries with videos in them, though, most of them are not owned by her.

M.I.L.F. - (Mothers I'd like to Fuck) This category did not last long as people were insulting her....

Here is the complete list from NEWS section starting April 24 2010 to June 25, 2010. PLEASE NOTE: The top is the oldest and as you go down, it'll become more recent. Highlights indicate entries that aren't news because it's about her. Yes, it's an biased opinion, but, if you think about it logically, it makes sense.









This is all shit and Tila has no real passion of running a celebrity gossip site and use it as an attention tool. Why else would she archive old photos of herself, create Dear Diary, TilaArmy, have Hottie of the Week, Thought of the Day and Hater of the Week? Real celebrity gossip sites don't talk about themselves to this extent, if not, never. Tila is just dumb, dumb, dumb!

On June 6, which was a Sunday, was the day she faked suicide and was taken to a hospital for evaluation. Notice how she had only two entries. Gee, for someone who has a staff of 25-30, and two additional staffs for her website, she sure lacked activity on that particular day!



The Tila Truth said...

I think her sister Terri does post under TILA STAFF. As you pointed out, a lot of them come from Tila. It's obvious which ones.

There is another girl, Claire, who used to design Tila's Myspace and other websites. Tila had them all posting under names like TerriOMG and ClaireOMG, but when people made fun of her for having her sister write, she put them under the STAFF title.

I do think Mr. Bradshaw writes his own entries. Sadly, someone as stupid as Tila does exist in this world.

Carlton Jordan used to be one of the "STAFF", but he left when Tila didn't pay him for his help.

Tila uses the STAFF account to reply in the comment section. She said she fired someone from the staff a few days ago, because they made mean posts to the blog. I guess she never reads her own posts?