8 Tila Tequila Just Got Corked By Chyna

Well, the winner for best celebrity sex tape 2012 is revealed. In my opinion, I am quite disappointed Tuna Tequila lost because all her life is evolved around masturbation, promiscuity, and among other sexual activities I care not to know. Who is the winner? Chyna. Her real name is Joan Marie Laurer, former female American wrestler turned pornographic actress. Perhaps Tila can become Chyna's protégée? Just a thought.

27 Tila's Rot Spot v.2 Adult Theme For Minors?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

With 2011 behind us, we can expect more lies, mostly recycled ones, spewing out of Tuna's dragon lady's mouth for 2012. A big sigh. Tila posted on her facebook that she'll be launching an adult website on January 14th, one month away from Valentine's Day, thinking people still gives a shit about her nymphomaniac behavior when in reality, the midget hogul already "jumped the shark" and is refusing to go away. Speaking of January 14th, why not on Valentine's Day, Tit? Your lesbian sex tape was released around that time. You should honor your accomplishment.

12 Tila's Big Plans For 2011 Video Review

Thanks to those who have contacted Twitter that pushed Tila to fix her website. Whether or not it was us, haters, that drove Tila to fix her shitty website to keep her verification badge on twitter, or it's just a coincidence, it's back online now. So all you dimwitted troubled naive fans, you're welcome and resume your job ass-kissing this loser who couldn't give a fuck about you.

In case you didn't know, Tila apparently gets a small side job as a columnist for HollywoodLife.com and her very first entry is about love. How she was chosen is beyond any rational people's mind, but I find this pretty offensive for numerous reasons. First of all, I wrote about Tila's relationships in October 2010:

8 MissTila.com: Different Layouts, Same Old Shit

15 Ting-Ting! Me Suck Yo Dick!

Few weeks ago, an Army of Idiots soldier tweeted me this awesome shit:

Why is it awesome? Because unlike most of Tila's fans, though labeled as AOI, this is certainly a rare moment when a fan admits Tila Tequila lies! Of course, I've challenged this person but I guess he/she got too scared and didn't want to risk of being "kicked out" so ignored me. Yes. In Tila's world, her club is so immature. It's equivalent to those clubs children make and if you piss off the leader, it's a "toot-a-loo" to you. As long you "ass-kiss" her, you'll be on her good side. Anyways, all I got to say is, despite this fan's poor taste for an idol, I have to give mad props for admitting that Tila Tequila lies.

31 2010 Rewind: Tila's Biggest Failure

Tomorrow will be a new year and with that, I anticipate more failure coming from our favorite mogul besides sucking lots of dicks for more cash (cause, ya know, she's a prostitute) for 2011! It's like, I can't hardly wait!

So, what do you think was Tila's biggest failure for 2010? Here's my list:

1. Celebrity gossip blog
2.) Tila's Iphone apps
3. Tila Merch

Well, happy new year and I hope the whore will continue to act more stupid than ever to remain relevant!

13 It's All About Me, Me, Me, Me

Hmmmmm...really, Tila?

YOU FAILED, Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen!

What? No photos of your new mansion and blogged this crap instead?

7 Let Us Welcome Tila's New Guest Blogger

Tila doesn't find other people fucking attractive if they're not her or skanky at all. On October 18th, this retard tweeted this:

Excuse us, but the world does not want to see your saggy blue waffle cooch or your wonky tits. You're not young anymore. Get over it, hoe.

3 Tila Declares Her Own Holiday: Free Hugs Day!

Yes, you've read that right, folks. Titla Bacteria decides to declare her own little holiday, a free hugs day, incorporated on October 13th, 2010, but we all know free hugs been around for a long time, right? My version of the story? She went to a local sex store and on her way back to her rented Lambo, saw three horny young men with "free hugs" signs and felt heart-broken when no one was hugging them. I don't know about you guys, but I do not feel comfortable hugging random people. So, the filthy coquette interferes by asking how many hugs they've received and their answers? Too many. "Can I take a picture with you guys?" Her question aroused suspicion, and since they're determined to accomplish their mission, said yes to get her out of there quickly as possible.

1 Retweet: Tila In Wonderland

Tila In Wonderland - I wonder if Tila believes her own bullshit. Yes? No? I've forgotten how batshit crazy her tweets were! WARNING! The following collection contains a lot of bullshit escaping Grandma Tila's narcissistic mouth!

4 Major OMG Revamping!

Whore removed the Thumbs Up/Down feature! Hahahaha! Couldn't handle the truth apparently!

In honor of Titla's newest scheme to hide her failed attempt at blogging celebrity gossip news, I would like to gather screenshots of what her expectations were and its lies she spewed to get the ignorant masses out there excited of expectations that never was to be fulfilled or accomplished: (If you don't want to read the screenshots, I've narrowed down a list of what we were expected to see. Just scroll down):

0 Tila Has a New OMG Staff Writer!!!

Tila wants to impress the world her fake shitty celebrity gossip site is legit and lives up to its name and announces she has hired a new writer. The process took her weeks to finally make the decision like it took her four fucking days to decide which color of the Lambo she wanted as she claims. Let's recap again. Back in April of this year, Tila had a brief, but yet, boring interview with FoxBusiness. You can clearly hear her answer the question of how many employees working for her: 25-30. Yes, it was back in April, but that's not ancient. Anyways, I was shaking my head as I read her entry.

16 After Beating, I Wear My Big Black Sunglasses!

UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM!

Let's go back in time, specifically, September 2009!



Remember how Tila accused Shawne Merriman of beating her ass up? Well, afterwards, Tila had the nerve to phone TMZ for a quick interview.

6 Gossip Shite, Stalkers, Car Update, and PETA Campaign?

Previously, Tila mentioned from one of her latest entries regarding about respecting opinions from people. Unfortunately, there is no truth in this and our sentiments will looked upon with disdain, unless we're kissing her disgusting ass. Take these for examples:

3 Tila's Paparazzi!

Ever since Tila did an interview with some schmuck back in London, it really inspired me to investigate Tila's paparazzi. This clip is a must see with lots of chuckles regarding about paparazzi allegedly working for her. You should read the I Fucked the UK! entry when you get a chance. It's really sad.

1 I Fucked the UK!

Alright. It's well known Titla Bacteria has a reputation of lying. We can scream all we want about that because Tila denies it, despite myriad of evidence already provided. "I never lie!" protests the child of God. ^[1]. Okay, I am not an expert of detecting liars, but I truly felt red flags were waving while watching her EntertainmentFocus interview. Notice how she lacked serious eye contact (one of the behaviors) besides not making sense most of the time. I recommend watching these clips about detecting liars: 1, 2, 3, 4. Obviously, this is not a good method of studying body language and such, but I felt compelled to link them here anyways.

0 Back to Square 1...yet Again.

Since July 12th, Tila required visitors to register in order to leave lovely comments. Well, apparently, this affected her site traffic. Visit Tilasrotspot's recent site traffic analysis. Tila doesn't want to worry her advertisers, so she changes it back to where anyone can post without registering, but not without a little amusement:

LOL! Feedback! Yeah, right! Nice try, bitch! Thanks for entertaining me! Wait...haven't we had this discussion before? And as of this date, Tila's TOS page is empty.

1 UK performance, and Going Commando!

HAHAHAHAA! That's right. I can't contain myself from laughing as I post this. Thanks to a fellow poster at Tilasrotspot for providing us a link of photos of Tila's recent performance:

0 Me run a Celebrity Gossip Site? Nope! It's all about Me!

Wow...I'd never predicted to blog more than once a day, but, this is a record! My third entry! Anyways, so Tila, once again, titles herself as "Hottie of the Week," obviously forgetting her goals she'd promised us:

Really, Tila? I mean, fucking really?

0 Tila, the Apotheosis

Titla Bacteria just can't get enough of herself. Instead of improving her badly-needed grammatical skill and act like a twenty-eight year old woman, she insists focusing on something what psychologists would call morbid and pure delusional.

Before I offer my opinions, I want to remind Tila that this is what makes her gossip blog fun as hell. For those who are need of up to date, more accurate, and less grammatical error celebrity news, TMZ would be a good place to start, otherwise, going to Tila's site would be like me asking some kid for world news: Inaccurate, clueless, and incoherent. The analogy might be exaggerating, but in the world of professionalism, no boss would want to associate with a writer who constantly use caps lock, incapable of spelling basic words, and not knowing how to use apostrophe correctly to name a few. Yes, for a twenty-eight-year-old, it is embarrassing.