In case you didn't know, Tila apparently gets a small side job as a columnist for HollywoodLife.com and her very first entry is about love. How she was chosen is beyond any rational people's mind, but I find this pretty offensive for numerous reasons. First of all, I wrote about Tila's relationships in October 2010:
"Let us not forget she accused Casa Wilson of rape, threatened to file a sexual harrasment against Chris, a bodyguard she once hired, pissed off Carlton Jordan, accused The Game of being her baby daddy, sued Shawne Merriman, fired Garry Sun, even though he wasn't getting paid and to add an insult to the injury, blames him for cutting her arm. Then goes Mr.Bradshaw, who made the right choice of leaving the psychotic bitch."
At least she was honest one time, a very rare moment:
How Tila portrays herself to the public is her sad business, but the way she carries herself obviously hurts her more than trying to succeed in Hollywood, let alone, be taken seriously. In other words, her relationships with previous men were never on solid grounds and she has no right to give love advice to anyone when it's proven she's incapable of any relationships to begin with, So why did HollywoodLife (a Hollywood life Tila wishes she has) hired this awful writer? I probably don't want to know. Secondly, this is a reminisce to Tila's failures at celebrity blogging and dethroning Perez Hilton and other celebrity tabloid websites. The failure doesn't stop there. Click here to read a list of things Tila promised to have, let alone, over-exaggerate just how cool her new site is going to be. A total failure, failure, failure.
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With 2012 approaching, I doubt Tila can make a huge impact within a month...unless she decides to kill herself for good (will anyone really care? I doubt it), so I'm going to review Tila's Big Plans for 2011, which was uploaded on January 6th of this year:
If you don't want to listen to her constant lip-smacks, which Tila blames from a car accident believe it or not, the transcript is below:
"Hi! *chuckles* Um, this is weird. I'm trying to test out this camera. *methsmack* Anyways, um...*methsmack* I haven't made a video vlog update in awhile, and I just wanted to make one really fast--update on what's been going on in my world and spend a lot of exciting stuff happening. Ummm...*methsmack* Well, first of all, I had an amazing time in Paris. Uh, I'll do another video vlog about that later because that's a whole other thing--um, I had so much fun there but, ummm, what I wanted to say was that ummm, I have really exciting news. I've been trying...contain this for long time. I'm actually working on this for quite some time now, but I didn't want to make any announcements just yet because...I just didn't want to jinx anything bad but I've been working on this for really long time *methsmack* and, for me to bite my tongue and not say anything about it...is a big deal! *chuckles*
So, um, yeah! So, this year, 2011, is going to be an amazing year for me because I've been manifesting to get into movies and acting and um, *methsmack* I've never made that announcement because I didn't want to--like I said, jinx anything or...or be like everybody else and say,'oh, I want to get into acting now' and not get anything done. But, uhh, I'm actually working on...a really great film with a really, really amazing people and amazing crew. Um, if I told you, who I'm working with, you would not believe me! *chuckles* So, that's why I'm not going to make that announcement just yet. You're just going to have to watch it and see it for yourself once it comes out. Um, it's--it's a really intense role. It's a very, very um, hard role to play. Um, I think a lot of people will be very, very surprised and shocked...once you see Miss Tila, um, acting because I have a hidden talent, which is acting. Um, I'm a very, very, very, very good actress!
Um, *methsmack* I just, uh, I just don't like to talk about it while I'm in...my mode of working, so, for the past--long time, I've been working on um, movies and now that's happening, ummmm...I'm able to at least make this small announcement to let you guys know what's going on in that 2011, you're going to seeing a lot of me in the big screen, and lots of movies, and I'm really, really excited about it because de--um, the people I'm working with, they've won...tons of awards, eh--even recently. Um, I'm so, so, so blessed, and honored, to be able to work with these...*methsmack* amazing directors, producers, and um, for them to see...uh, my...my acting talent and want to work with me and write this script around me, um, being the lead role. It's amazing. I'm--I'm still in shock.
So, um, other than that, I also just landed a role on uh, really funny, popular tv show on CBS. And uh, it's really cool. Because I got casted as an actress and not as myself! Which is awesome because like I said, that's where I'm manifesting and um, *methsmack* so, this show is going to be on CBS, prime time. I can't wait to tell you what it is um, *methsmack* 'cause usually, you know, I get casted for tv shows and what not, but just as cameos as myself, so it's really not acting but this time, I got casted as an actress, playing um, this girl. It's going to be really funny. So, the tv show is really gonna to be funny. Um, *methsmack* I actually have to get up really early tomorrow and go through rehearsals. Um, so that's one--another thing, but the main thing is the movies. You're going to be seeing me in a lot of movies in two thousand and eleven--*methsmack* I keep almost saying 2010. I'm not used to it yet. Sorry.
But I'm so excited because...when...the world sees what I'm capable of doing...as far as acting, they're gonna be really blown away! Because you're---people have no idea what I'm capable of doing...uh, as far as acting goes. And this--this movie that I'm working on, it's...it's a really intense, intense um...movie. It's a very, um, *methsmack* hard role to play. It's very emotional. Uh, it's also very risqué and not--nobody ha--nobody's done a script quite like this because um, it's very risqué and it's very hard to do. But, I have a great crew around me. Uh, great team of people that I'm working with...with this film. And uh, I'm the le-the lead character! I'm the lead role! So, um, ah!!! I'm very excited! I can't wait to show you guys um...*methsmack* my...hidden talent, which is acting. So, that is my quick update to let ya know what's been going on and uh, that's why I haven't been really blogging as much as I used to and all that, but, I'm gonna try to get into that more as soon as I have time, but lately, I have to get focus on acting and um, rehearsing, and getting into my character because my character is very hard to play like I said. It's very serious. Um, it's very sad, but at the same time, it's very inspirational, this movie. Um, I think--I think you're all really going to love it. It's going to make you cry. 'Cause, it made me cry. And um, I'm in--I'm acting in it, but it uh, definitely made me cry.
So um, yeah. I'm really excited because um, *methsmack* you know, 2010 was a very, very crappy year for me, But, I hung in there and now 2011 is going to rock! And it's starting off with a bang already. Got the tv show, landed that role. Uh, I gotta get up early tomorrow and be there for rehearsals and as soon as we're done filming the tv show, I'll let you guys know what it is. As for the movie, I can't say yet because we're still in production on that. But, once people see it--like I said, it's gonna really, really change everything. So, *methsmack* that's about it. And, I miss you guys and um...I'm gonna post up *methsmack* um, these videos I made in--when I was in Paris *methsmack* and they're little documentaries but, um, it's really not about me. I was basing it on other characters that I was playing. So, it's pretty funny. So, I'm gonna start uploading that um, maybe like twice a week or so and let you see what's going on. Alright? So, miss you guys and uh, I will be back to let you know what, when the tv show air and more about the movie and other stuff. Love you! Bye!" *chuckles*
If you didn't read the transcript or watched the clip, she's telling the viewers, "you're going to seeing a lot of me in the big screen in 2011", revealing she has an awesome hidden talent in acting, and bragged about playing a really tough, risqué role that no other movie productions would dare to film! What are the mysterious roles could she be talking about? I wrote an entry about Tila's television appearances and narrowed down the possible role she might be referring to:
"Without giving away the movie, 29-year-old Tila said her role is that of a girl who was abducted at age 11 and forced into child prostitution by the time she was 13."
Well, her enthusiasm have gone to pure waste because we have yet to see this film or Tila on big screens as she claims will happen. I guess her psychic power failed her...again. Fret not, Tila! You still have one more month to be in movies that will sure to make its way to the theaters! Keep on dreaming, girl! Oh, wait. What's that you say? You want to move to New York, find a roommate, and live a normal life? Maybe it's time you listened to that little voice in your head. Your inner self is wanting you to quit struggling to make it big because you don't have what it takes and either work as a porn star or just fuck off already.
You see yourself as an ambassador for Vietnam or adopting children in the near future is a joke. No one is taking you seriously and never will. You are fucked and are among the wanna-be hollywood stars you see on American Idol auditions. 2011 is almost over and you have yet to be "in a" movie, let alone, be big, and I'm not talking about your fake wonky titties. Oh, and the last tv show you were in, got cancelled! So what popularity are you talking about? Yeah, exactly. I don't know, either. You thought 2011 was starting out with a bang because of getting a gold-digger role (which is you in real life mind you) for a crappy now dead show? Looks like 2011 is still 2010 for ya, otherwise, you wouldn't be getting gigs at sleazy bars. Try Tila Tequila Popped!
Tila Tequila's delusional thought of possessing talent in singing and acting reminds me of this looney woman character from Eddie Murphy in Coming to America movie. A classic favorite film of mine:
2011 = ANOTHER FAILURE