Monday, August 23, 2010

4 Major OMG Revamping!

Whore removed the Thumbs Up/Down feature! Hahahaha! Couldn't handle the truth apparently!

In honor of Titla's newest scheme to hide her failed attempt at blogging celebrity gossip news, I would like to gather screenshots of what her expectations were and its lies she spewed to get the ignorant masses out there excited of expectations that never was to be fulfilled or accomplished: (If you don't want to read the screenshots, I've narrowed down a list of what we were expected to see. Just scroll down):

Here's the list of what our favorite mogul-wanna-be-aspiring whore wanted us to believe about her upcoming celebrity gossip blog site:

1.) Highly anticipated celebrity gossip blog.
2.) Been busting her disgusting ass off working on her celebrity gossip blog.
3.) Real celebrity news, bringing us news "real time".
4.) It's not about Tila bashing random celebrities.
5.) It's a real celebrity news blog just like any other.
6.) Will beat out Piggy Dumbass Perez Hilton's blog.
7.) Perez's blog is old, Tila's up to date, edgy, and something new and fresh.
8.) Once we see Tila's new blog, we'll all be hooked.
9.) Tila's blog: Super, fun, and unexpected. Colorful, blasting with tons of personality.
10.) Even if you hate her, you'll love her blog.
11.) Blog to launch in April.
12.) After April, the world of celebrity will never be the same.
13.) She one thousand million trillion percent guarantee us that there are no other celebrity gossip blog out there like hers.
14.) Blog pushed back due to TilaMerch site.
15.) Her blog site is going to kick everyone's ass.
16.) Her site is "MAJOR."
17.) Previously mentioned it was the TilaMerch that was responsible for the delay of its launch, now states she hired a new team of writers.
18.) She's a pussy CEO slash boss slash mogul bitch.
19.) Whatever info she needed to collect from her new team of imaginary staff writers of 25-30, she had to hire another company to accommodate heavy site traffic she anticipated.
20.) Even though her site is not opened to the public, already the traffic is going bananas.
21.) Her blog is suppose to have cool features and pluggins that no other celebrity gossip sites have.
22.) Had amazing meeting with a partner who wants to be part of her imaginary team, thus, believes her site is going to kill every single motherfucking blogs out there.
23.) There were tons of people hitting up her PR team, asking to be part of it.
24.) Has a big office space with green screen and a huge film crew.
25.) Had confirmed to do an interview with a celebrity, saying "take that, Perez!" and only to discover it was some Russian Boxer most of the Americans wouldn't know.
26.) Her blog is going to be dope.
27.) Refreshing, new, totally loud in our faces (whatever the hell that means), extremely funny, and will actually have real celebrity interviews each week.
28.) Her blog is super duper duper duper fun and real news and tons of exclusive materials that no other bloggers has.
29.) Due to having tons of connections, have exclusive insides that nobody knows, and amazing things popping up, she had to push her site back. Not because of hiring new team of writers or getting a dedicated server from a different web hosting company.
30.) Her gossip blog is going to be the number one celebrity gossip blog in the whole world.
31.) Her green screen and other videos will be syndicated to TV stations all around the "word."
32.) Will have contests, and prizes include a chance of a trip to Hollywood, chill out with Tila for a day, go shopping while paparazzi chase you and her around.
33.) Tila will be "outing" few people that dissed her to get even.
34.) Her blog is extremely high-tech and have features for it.
35.) Will have tons of "sexy" (though whorish is the politically correct term) photos of herself as well.
36.) Will have make-up tutorials.

If there's anything she established from her ff (fake failed) celebrity gossip blog, I would pick #35. The rest is all bullshit. I would have selected #27 too, but did not because even though she interviewed a Russian Boxer, Ruslan Provodnikov (and that was back in May 21st), she still has yet to interview a celebrity we are still waiting for her to do. Tila made a couple videos of using the green screen. One for advertising her upcoming failure and the interview with the Russian guy (what's his name again?). So, if this whore has a big office space with the green screen, she's wasting money or it simply does not exist at all. I choose the latter. It's laughable that she claims to have a huge film crew!

Indeed, this is a long ass list and we expected Tila to at least have ten from the list actually accomplished, but only #35 was successful because it already existed. All she did was conveyed them. How hard is that to do? Not hard enough to merit "working my ass off" that's for sure. That's one of her favorite sentences besides "with that being said" and "first of all." She loves to remind us she works her ass off to please us, though fails to realize we aren't. And if we subtract #35, we get a scary result that Tila has failed at everything! What's amazing she actually has advertisers. Why? Thanks to her erratic behavior of pretending to kill herself. The traffic pretty much skyrocketed. But, there's a saying: What comes up, must come down. So, she attended the Juggalos, knowing what will happen, to help boost the attention and the traffic to her site once again.

Today, Tila wrote an entry that sort of put a smile on my face. Although she does not admit her site is a "MAJOR" failure, but fails to be clever by diverting the readers from the real truth of why she suddenly chose a different path. It pleases me because she knows her celebrity gossip blog is a total fake and completely failed. I would like to get an answer from Tila regarding about her attempt to "dethrone" Perez Hilton.

In the thumbnail photo, it looks like Tila has a cold sore on her nasty cock-sucking mouth. Ewwww.

That's all a lie. As far as I'm concerned, Tila never mentioned about making her celebrity gossip about her readers until now. It's either about celebrities (though not as much and interesting as you may have thought) or news about her with old slutty pictures of herself. Her TilaArmy section is mostly a joke. If you actually go through the pages, you'll soon realize the TilaArmy is not what you expect it to be. There are only few photos of her "family" or cult members as I prefer, but otherwise, celebrities who she felt proud of their latest actions like Angelina Jolie donating to charities and ironically put under TilaArmy category.

Tila likes to make us think she listens to her fans. But honestly, she doesn't have a lot of them and most of them are just children. If she did, wouldn't she take the advice of canceling the Juggalos performance? I seriously doubt Tila actually listens to people and take note on what they like to read. Most of the comments are negative and people complain about her using her celebrity gossip in disguise of self-promotion. Which is true because name celebrity gossip blog that has categories like "TilaArmy of the Week" , "Hottie of the Week", "Thought of the Day", "Dear Diary" , "TilaTV!" and etc? Perez Hilton is guilty of self-promoting too, but not to extent like this whore.

People insult her when she's archiving old photos of herself and trying to make news lead about her like the Uganda entry. They criticize her and yet, she still believes her celebrity gossip blog is awesome and feels nothing wrong of self-promoting. It took her four months to realize her project wasn't going to work and now feels it's time to change. But wait. Didn't she recently "hired" a new staff writer by the nickname of "Big Tits?" So, I guess Big Tits better apply for unemployment then. I'm sure there's no hard feelings among the two because one of them don't exist, though, I would like to think Tila doesn't exist either and is just a figment of my imagination.

It took her four months to realize visitors weren't interested in her stupid celebrity news? I guess she's bad at looking for clues. Those clues are myriad of negative comments and the lack of comments in celebrity entries. There's another clue that can prove Tila actually writes under the name of TILASTAFF. In this screenshot, Tila states she has to post about celebrity and other gossip news but in the end, it bores the hell out of her unless it's actually about her. You can probably guess what I'm thinking: Why would posting about celebrities bore her if she doesn't post them? I guess she slipped on this one, too. You, see! I knew there's something fishy about her team of writers! Why do they possess the same writing styles? Because TILASTAFF and BIG TITS are Tila!

So, within the four months, Tila had fired and hired a batch of writers for her shitty site who all have an uncanny similar writing styles. Garry Sun, who used to work for her, reveals he wasn't getting paid for his time and felt unappreciated. Sucks for him, but he was stupid to allow himself to work for her for free. And speaking of paparazzi, I love how she says she paid paparazzi for photos when most of the photos on her site all comes from WireImage. Shit, I actually wrote an entry about paparazzi working for her and why I think it's also all bullshit. It's worth checking it out.

Does this mean pigs can actually fly? Wow. Tila has become a talent agency now (though without proper education and license). I guess this is her way of redeeming her lie of owning the Tila Tequila Records!

Since January of this year, Tila boast about managing Tila Tequila Records and claimed to have two artists. One was let go due to leaking a song without her permission, and the other, we don't know. The Rotspot have more information about this. You may think what Tila's doing is sweet and trying to be unselfish for once, but I seriously sense deception here. Why? Allow me to explain.

Remember earlier among the list, Tila believes her site is MAJOR? I'm assuming she really meant her site is very popular and more successful than any other celebrity blogs out there, though mainly better than And because of her illogical thinking, she believes she can get those desperate in need of attention they've been longing for. This is literally breeding new Tilas out there. Think about it: If you're a loser, but managed to get the infamy status, what ways will you do to make yourself feel better and laugh at the less fortunate? Have your idiotic fans or truly dumb fucks out there to email you for help. Already this whore has the TilaArmy submission where idiots express their dying love for her and thinking she's an angel of God and other shit. Why not take it up to the next level?

I wish I could get a screenshot of one of her earliest contents from web archive, but somehow, I'm getting this stupid message where it says I need flash 8 to view this when mine is up to date. Anyways, I'll describe it and maybe you guys can recall, too. This was one of the biggest revamp of her tilashotspot site. Before, it was html and now, she hired a professional web designer and had her contents mostly done in flash. She had one section where she accepted modeling submission to get their faces out there, hoping talent agencies can discover them from tilashotspot. Apparently, it didn't sound successful for various reasons, but the number one factor was because she wasn't well known back then. And that was that.

In April of this year, Tila claims she was offered to do a fashion line and seeked out fashion designers:

Oh, really? You think we're too stupid to realize you've already tried doing fashion designing since 2004? If you look up from WHOIS, this is the result:

Hell, Tila talked about her stupid fashion designing in her crap-fest Hooking Up With Tila Tequila self-help book and on her myspace page. You know how Tila's style is. She brags about something for a while and later acts as if she never spoke about certain subjects before, so you can guess she never spoke about her fashion design ever since this entry.

So far, she tried helping aspiring models out there, no success. Then, she tried with fashion, no luck either. All applicants are thrown away and was never taken seriously to begin with. This is one of Tila's way to make herself feel good: To laugh at those who haven't gotten her infamy status yet. I was surprised to find an entry about Robin Johnson from New Zealand:

Since January, Tila has been looking to sign up new artists and it's almost September. What the fuck is taking her so long? Oh, that's right. Her Tila Tequila Records don't exist either just like her fake-ass Jayden's Angels charity organization! Even the tilatequilarecords website is hilarious, but the latest image I saw was nasty. So, the folks who seriously want to get their foot through the doors, Tila Tequila is not the right approach! But, people who likes her are dumb, so chances are, they don't take my advice to go else where, so, really, good luck to them, then. SMH.

"I am making changes to my website due to the high demand what my readers want.". If you believe this, you're a complete moron. I mean, a complete moron. This is an excuse of her failed attempt. I don't know if you read her entry comments, but I read a lot of them and so far, I have never read one comment demanding to take this latest approach. I read her tweets as well, so, if she claims what is true, then it's coming from her email then. But why from her emails only? Because such demand don't exist either. Tila has not only a big ugly head, but a big ego bigger than her fake tits and can't swallow her pride (except sperms). Tila, you failed at celebrity gossip blogging! Not surprised you can't admit that!

Your universe is probably scarier than hell itself (if it exists) because it's taking you to the wrong places and I hope its guidance would be the death of you. So Tila's universe is guiding her to cry wolf, pretending to kill yourself, use people, and do whatever you can to stay relevant? Oooooooooooooooookkkkkkk.

It's a trap, yo!


Remember, everything she does always end with a failure! It is true success does not come without failure, but if you fail constantly, that's a sign of you just suck at everything.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever the fuck you say, you dumb hoe. Do what you do best and shut the fuck up, already: Spread your legs, suck cock and speak only when spoken too!

Oh, and more thing. In her latest TilaArmy of the Week, I find what Tila said something laughable and sad at the same time! Wait, isn't that always the case? Usually, but this was butt-funny! Whatever the fuck that means! This will definitely be the quote of the month for September!:

Dumb fuck. She has many accents, just like she has many different personalities...which, all of them are fake. I hope her universe guides her to a path of demise soon.


Misty said...

It was just a matter of time. MySpace died long ago and Facebook doesn't offer her enough character spaces. She probably always intended to have a blog about her. Really she should have just started it that way to begin with, no shame.

There is no shame because the reality is that Tila is "the internet whore goblin", she will always be that since she has no real discernible talent. She will need to just start jumping from medium to medium or social site to social site because she will never amount to more than this.

I have to LOL heartily though - how long before she runs out of old photos to attract the young'ins. There is nothing attractive about her now except for those who have fetishes for
"skank pics", actually there is a website dedicated to "crack whores". Maybe that will be her next venture.

Great post QOCAP!

Sandra said...

Great job on the post! I can't believe she listed all those things that she would do on her flog and only accomplished one. In the blog she wasn't interested in celeb gossip, well if you are not interested in it why start a "Gossip Site" and spend "30grand" on your website?

I think she found it too hard to keep it updated and fresh. She says her Dear Diary and stories about her got the most responses. That's only because people don't go to her site for gossip (you can up to date stuff on TMZ, Perez, Radar etc) people visit and leave comments on those posts because we all want to call her out on her shit. Also I love to read the new crap she is spouting and i enjoy seeing her army of losers eat it all up and think the sun shines out of her ass.

How funny she has promising Tila Merch for so long, it's not that hard to get posters made and some cheap crappy t-shirts. I think she's waiting on the money from her "Johns" and porno so can she put a deposit down for the merch, we all know she's poor.

Anyway love what you do. Just wondering did you check out the article on about Tila Myspace stuff? Pretty scandalous.

Love you!!!!

Sandra said...

Whoops sorry for all the missing words. I was typing too fast and didn't check what i had written.

Queen of Copy and Paste said...

@Misty: LOL But according to Tila, she has like thousands of old photos of herself to torture us with, plus new photos for her shitty TilaMerch we've been waiting for since Jan! Sad, isn't it? May God have mercy on our souls!

@Sandra: Hey, thanks for the heads up! I just woke up (yeah, I'm a nocturnal most of the time) and went to the rotspot and found the entry. Will read it. : ) *excited*