16 Like Pregnancy, Like Location

This really isn't "new" news but something that got me thinking: Back in July 2011, Tila announced she's moving to New York city, looking for a roommate, and wanting to attend college because she wants to "live a normal life". Awwww...how adorable! I didn't know Tila lives an ex-ordinary life. Did you? While this may have come so sudden for us, but we have no clue what goes on with her miserable life offline (quite frankly, I like it that way) and if she was telling the truth, for once, she could have made this decision a long time ago and started packing her shit up. However...

8 TILAARMY: Will You Tweet "#TilaSeekHelp"?

For over a year now, I have watched small group of fans interact with Miss Tila, Tila Tequila, Tila Wynn, Jane, Owen, or whatever her new names will be in the future via twitter and from her website which I seldom visit. Over the year, it was very entertaining to watch Tila spiral out of control. It was amusing. Now, it's sad. While being interviewed by Chaunce Hayden, Tila says, "you think you know me, you think you have me all down, and analyze me, but, I'm always and always will be one step ahead of everybody else of what you think of me. I will let you think what you think of me. And that's the magic of it. That's the beauty of it because I allow that. I let what people think. But I'm always one step ahead."

8 Howard Stern Fucks $5 Dollar Whore Again

Last week, I was asked if Miss Tila ever received her high school diploma or GED and my response was I don't know and began mocking about her interest of returning to college (fuck adopting and helping single mothers out there) and surprise, surprise, got a tweet by the hogul herself:

0 Promoting Love, but I'll Slit Your Throat Regardless!

A quick heads up for those who don't know: People discovered if you go to Tila Tequila's Records website, you'll find a rather ironic amusing ad of get a free burrito and that's all there is! Well, I didn't bother to click the ENTER button. Fuck, no! So, I decided to mock Tila and here's this stupid, but still silly result:

1 I Fucked the UK!

Alright. It's well known Titla Bacteria has a reputation of lying. We can scream all we want about that because Tila denies it, despite myriad of evidence already provided. "I never lie!" protests the child of God. ^[1]. Okay, I am not an expert of detecting liars, but I truly felt red flags were waving while watching her EntertainmentFocus interview. Notice how she lacked serious eye contact (one of the behaviors) besides not making sense most of the time. I recommend watching these clips about detecting liars: 1, 2, 3, 4. Obviously, this is not a good method of studying body language and such, but I felt compelled to link them here anyways.

0 Interview with Boxer, Ruslan Provodnikov!...um, who?

So, Miss Tila finally lived up to her words, promising her fans an exclusive interview with celebrities! Unfortunately, I cannot share her enthusiasm because I was expecting a little too much. How foolish was I to think she'll be interviewing really famous people like Oprah! *smacks side of forehead*

Not to disrespect her guest, but, who the hell is this dude? Anyone who is very impressed and awed by her attempt to dazzle us are beyond stupid. Well, to get even, I took another liberty to make this Q&A session more...interesting. Can anyone care to explain to me why Tila doesn't bother to memorize her dumbass and mundane questions?

0 KTLA Appearance: The segment you did not see!

Special thanks to Spiked Tequila for the video clip! I had fun making this! Click the photo to enlarge!