Thursday, July 22, 2010

1 I Fucked the UK!

Alright. It's well known Titla Bacteria has a reputation of lying. We can scream all we want about that because Tila denies it, despite myriad of evidence already provided. "I never lie!" protests the child of God. [1]. Okay, I am not an expert of detecting liars, but I truly felt red flags were waving while watching her EntertainmentFocus interview. Notice how she lacked serious eye contact (one of the behaviors) besides not making sense most of the time. I recommend watching these clips about detecting liars: 1, 2, 3, 4. Obviously, this is not a good method of studying body language and such, but I felt compelled to link them here anyways.

Now, I want to voice my opinion regarding about her pathetic entry about not having friends. Circle of friends? What the fuck does that mean? Did she watched Circle of Friends or something? First, see the images below:

It could be possible that this twit may not have friends at all. But, back in mid to 2000, she was a friend of Linda Strawberry. Why they broke up, I don't know and I don't care. If Tila doesn't have friends, she should know there's nothing to be ashamed of. Tila loves being vague and enigmatic. Vague, I agree, enigmatic? Nope. Just a stupid annoying woman with mental illness. Does she have friends is like asking is Tila really allergic to alcohol? If you ask me, I don't care if she does. All I care about is her underage fans being exploited.

I've also noticed how Tila has a tendency to mention people by their gender or occupation, but never their full names. Why? Because she's obviously lying. Take a look at her recent tweets:

Need I say her "huge party" is actually inside her head? If she was so confident about the invitation, why does she not mention the club's name? Yes, because it does not exist! Just like how she once said, "So, I met up with uh, CEO. He's gonna help me out with a lot of stuff on Miss Tila o-m-g dot com." Awful, isn't? She has a talent of fooling her TilaArmy, but is such a terrible liar.

EXCLUSIVE! A private detective I've hired went to London and got a scoop of this new film called Stephen King's TITLA! Pennywise is back and takes a form body of...yep, you guessed it! Tila Tequila!

Unfortunately, my PD got caught, unsuccessful of retrieving much information about the upcoming shitty-to-be movie (to be released in theaters sometime next summer). So, all I know is Pennywise is resurrected and kills its first victim who had an IPAD with him. Pennywise, curious about the strange device, observes it and sees a half-naked photo of Tila Tequila and decides to take a form of her skanky body and goes on a killing/eating rampage who are all children because it likes kids...just like how most of Tila's fans are kids themselves. Yep. I see Pennywise and Tila comparable and should wed. So, the real Tila Tequila is in serious shit with the "American" law and is on the run, twittering along the way. Don't ask why. Background photo courtesy by SoundCityCenterStage.

Okay, now onto her latest interviews in London! Notice how she refuses to make eye contact with excessive body movements most of the time throughout the session.

EF: First of all, tell us about your new website.

MT: *smack lips* My new, uh, website, it's uh um, mixture of uh, celebrity gossip blog and..and I throw in a little bit of my own personal life in there and's a little bit different because I open up a lot more now opposed before with my old site. Um...and it's a celebrity gossip site. It's at Miss Tila O-M-G dot COM or Tila O-M-G dot COM to make it easier to remember. And um, we have...I actually have my own group of "paparazzis"
(Paparazzi is a plural, btw. For singular, it's paparazzo) in Hollywood. But I don't like to tell people who they are so they don't know that it's my people. So, it's a lot of fun because I have...before, it was like, I was on the other side. The "paparazzis" would follow me. But now, I work on the other side. So, it's kinda cool."

I seriously doubt this cunt have paparazzi working for her. Go to her shitty fake celebrity gossip blog and notice most of the images are from WireImage. Not to mention, Tila watermark photos that aren't even hers! Otherwise, images are photos of herself. She has a big watermark of her website name, but when crediting sources, the font is very small.

I love the part where she says, "and I throw in a little bit of my own personal life in there" when half, if not, slightly over, of the contents are about her, TilaArmy, Thought of the Day, Hater of the Week, and Dear Diary! Click here for more details about her newest website. So, I did an archive around the time Tila announced her latest project, Misstilaomg website and look how hyped she was!

What the fuck?! She said she'll interview celebrities each week! The last time she interviewed was back in late May! and it was someone who's not even close of being a z-list! This is the shit you type when you abuse ambien! In the meantime, idiotic fans and haters are still waiting for Tila's "real" celebrity interviews, including make-up lessons and discussions about quantum physic!

Here's the real truth: Tila once said this and I've spent time searching for this quote but to no avail, but if anyone could find this particular statement, please let me know! Tila registered those domains, mainly,, not because it would be convenient, but she did not want a hater registering that name, fearing it would be used against her. Trust me. Tila can call it a "gift" or "convenience", but I agree it's out of fear. RotSpot anyone?

MT: It's so strange now because I,, *smack lips* the people actually sending me tips about celebrities, and naked pictures of celebrities and all kinds of stuff and, so now, it's weird because now I'm on the other side as the media person and no longer just a celebrity. I'm also the media person who talks about celebrities, so it's kinda cool, it's fun.

MT: ...None of these celebrities they never...had a celebrity gossip website. So, I'd figured since I'm a celebrity, I know a lot about celebrities. I know a lot about people.'ll be kinda cool a switch around on them. You know? It worked!

It's funny how she's trying to make herself look more successful than Perez Hilton or TMZ! "To switch around on them"? Another wtf! If I had to guess, I would think betrayal. Moving on. So typical of Tila to think she's a celebrity, just like how she thinks she's an honest person, let alone, child of God or child of war. You take your pick. Is there such thing as child of stupidity?

On July 1st, Tila states she never considered herself as a celebrity. Unfortunately, for her, I was able to find evidence she had before the July 1st entry. It's very easy to understand why celebrities never resorted to making fake celebrity gossip site: They have real jobs!

Again, really?

MT: Well, um, the friends of mine I...the friends of mine that I know, I don't...I keep, you know, I respect them. Now, I keep myself very private in Holly...I really don't really like to hang out with Hollywood people that much. *smack lips* So, in a way, that's good because when I get tips about people, I can put it out there because I'm like, we're not friends anyway. So, I really don't care. And, I'm not really the type to...*smack lips* kiss anyone's butt know, whatever!

Jesus Christ, this lady is dumb! I have a friend...that I don't know! Oh, Tila! You love to talk about your personal life, all the time! And to say you don't like to hang out with Hollywood people is complete bullshit! No one in Hollywood, at least the famous people, don't want to hang out with you! Why? Because they fear you'll try to ruin their reputation! Shit, even Lindsay Lohan avoided you! Not to mention, you're a nobody!

MT: My staff (referring to her non-existing 25-30 employees) we...we don't sleep. Like, I don't sleep. They don't sleep. I don't sleep, so, *smack lips* we always get big exclusives first. And, a lot of fake, bigger sites, which I'm not going to mention, they're really upset 'cause they're like, "how the hell Tila Tequila get exclusives?" And then, uh, I think people are starting to realize that my site's a real legit site and um, they're slowly starting to link back to ours my site and because I'm, I'm breaking news...stories that they don't have, other people don't have. So, I think that's really cool.

The fact is, Tila's exclusive is not what people would think. To her, exclusive is really a message and news about Tila Tequila herself! Since the launch, she has failed to dethrone Perez Hilton. Failed to offer her disappointing visitors celebrity interviews each week. Failed to be unique. FAILS AT EVERYTHING...except sex. Tila claimed TMZ have linked to her shitty failed celebrity gossip site, but when I checked it out, her site was not listed among its blogroll page. LOL!!!!!!! Okay, maybe I'm being harsh. It's okay to ask for a second opinion about Tila's exclusives, right?

EF: Tell us a little bit about the song [I Fucked the DJ] and how it came about.

MT: I Love my actually started off...I [inaudible] studio. I have uh, I have a certain writing process. I go in there, and I talk to the producer and, the subject comes up. You know, you talk about friends, what's going on, and this person, and talk about this dj. So, the producers were like, "Why-why don't we write about that?" I was like, um, okay.

Tilasrotspot uploaded one of Tila's earlier interview back in mid April this year. And according to Titla, I Fucked the DJ was "inspired by my real life experiences." *snickers* Tila isn't prepared to disclose London her true nature of skankiness.

EF: And you also got your EP Welcome to the Darkside. Tell us about that.

MT: Um, I have my EP Welcome to the Darkside. It's...I actually really love it. It's not made you know, a lot of people tried to make follow trends, and you know, they're not following their heart. They just want to make trends to sell records. And I...I think should be something that you make because it's from your heart, you know? So, Welcome to the Darkside I wanted to show people that I can sing. And, uh, that way we recorded, there's no auto tune and we recorded just like how they did back then. Everything is live.

I've studied music theory and is a pianist. Although I never took singing lessons, but after watching clips of Tila singing live, it's very clear she can't sing for shit and I'm not saying this to be rude. You don't have to be trained in music to know if someone is out of tune, but it helps. I like Japanese pop star, Ayumi Hamasak, and despite how successful she is, the girl can't sing either. Actually, even before watching those nauseating clips, I never doubted she had the ability to sing. Read her biography and you'll notice she never mentioned about taking singing lessons until her infamy status was becoming more prominent. So, yeah, tell yourself you can sing if it makes you feel awesome and so talented, Tila.

These posts were written back in January 21st and February 19. It is now July 23rd, with August just around the corner. Had it ever occur in her sick perverted mind that "I Fucked the DJ" and her EP is like...pretty old by now? It's also sad she left out the most significant information to those unfamiliar with the songs: Except for "Get me Off", the other two are not written and composed by her. Blue Dress is by Depeche Mode and Walking on Thin Ice is by Yoko Ono.

Did I ever mentioned I enjoy picking on her? I mean, fucking seriously! In this pathetic interview, she says, "a lot of people tried to make follow trends, and you know, they're not following their heart. They just want to make trends to sell records." Oh, really Tila? Gee, you criticize artists with genuine talent and skills by accusing them of following trends and not being true to their hearts, and here you are, copying other people's work? Am I missing something?! Speaking of following your heart, if Tila's being honest with this statement (God forbid), then, she has a sick, distorted nasty heart. But even without her shitty songs, everyone knows she's a nasty person regardless. Let's take a snippet of some of Tila's songs, shall we?


I like to fuck sexy boys, sexy girls.
I like to fuck leather pants, jerry curls.
I like to fuck, suck cock until I hurl.
I like to fuck everybody in the world.

Sucking on my titties so milky.
I get dirty with it, I'm so filthy.
Do it like you wanna make a baby, yeah, milf me.
If it ain't yours, you can still come and drill me, right?


I spread my legs wide open for ya baby.
So, be a man and pump it harder inside me.
I'm naked here, laying, waiting for ya baby, alone, alone, alone.
I'm coming closer, getting wetter for ya baby.
You got me feeling, you got me dreaming, wiling out.
No need to worry, wanna feel your explosion inside me.


I fucked the DJ, his dick was real big.
Spun me right round like a rocket and he killed it.
I took it in like a champ I'm a real chick.

Yeah, I wanna get naked every single time he spins this damn record.
Motherfuka by me 1 2 stepping, I put the pussy on him raw no protection.
And he love it when I get on top, triple x style, everybody watch me fuck the DJ.

Cause, he give me what I need. I suck it till it come out.
He fucks me till I bleed. He got me flipping over like an acrobat.
Then i scrach up his back like he scratch the wax. I fucked the Dj

Wow...her songs are like, sooooo beautiful! Well, Tila doesn't write lyrics, so, she can't take the whole blame. Can't this woman ever stop talking about sex? I've seen better-looking whores. Tila is going to be twenty-nine soon, so, I guess she's trying to make the best of it. CHEERS, Titla.

MT: I think that I'm epitome of Ameri--American dreams is all about, you know? The media know, say things about me; misrepresent who I am.

Wow. Tila is desperate to sound intelligent! I suspect she got the word, "epitome" from haters who used that word. "You're an epitome of..." whore, attention whore, stupidity, pathological liar, you name it. Yep. Anyways, I hope someone will tell her she's not. She haven't done shit except acts like a slut and expose herself to an audience who are mostly children.

MT: When people like know, *smack lips* say bad things about me, it's like, I don't care.

You should rephrase that statement. Check the haters label, I dare you.

EF: What else can we expect from Miss Tila?

Absolutely nothing! Either nothing, or it's porn! But, if Tila insists she has a TV production and hence, being an executive producer, well, if it turns out to be another lie, maybe this could be an actual breakdown and a wake-up call to her dumbass fans. I wouldn't be surprised if Tila makes an announcement the project is going to be canceled due to artistic differences. Well, that's a wrap for this boring interview. Mr. Bradshaw, stop encouraging your test subject to wear that same black belt!

Here in this video, our favorite mogul-wanna-be friend discusses about her pissy attitude toward Perez Hilton (again) and demanding him to not delete entries about her. "You know what, if you're going to write something, leave it up there! You know? Stand up what you say. That's...if you're a blogger and want to talk abou--about me, leave it up there! I don't delete anything, you know? So, when I called [inaudible], he deleted it all. So, I'm like, okay, that's strange--lame, don't you think?"

Actually, Tila, what's strange is how you're unable to keep your lies straight. On June 6th, Tila posted an entry about Jane attempted to kill her and then deleted it, but not before I was able to take a lovely screenshot of it. : ) Nice, try, bitch! And you're not in high school anymore. Grow the fuck up, already.

MT: So, I have all my fans who...don't like him as well. They emailed me...they sent me videos saying why they don't like him and why...bashing him. People [inaudible] haven't done anything to him and...he's trying to get famous off other people by bashing them down there. So, on my site, I-I-I...I don't do that. I just try to...deliver the news."

Say this very slowly: REALLY?

TilaArmy should be insulted. Tila switched it around and claimed it was them who sent the videos based on volition instead of encouragement! Such an ugly, vile bitch!

Toward the end, Tila feels entitled to have Perez Hilton ask for forgiveness. Um, for what? Being more successful? Ha! This bitch needs to realize Perez Hilton doesn't have time to play high school with her and it pisses her off even more he's ignoring her. Keep at it, Perez!

Is Titla Bacteria really allergic to alcohol? Does Titla Bacteria have real friends? Now, is Titla Bacteria really an aspiring mogul or been one since March? Thanks to Tilasrotspot for the link of this article.

Speaking of mogul, I want Tila to tell us about the status of her record label, Tila Tequila Records:

Wow, you think Tila would have a client by now and have an album being worked on. And now, for her recent tweets:

Uh-huh, okay, Tila. Always blaming the world for everything. Sweetie, you're the "cuntass" whore. Maybe if you stop abusing drugs, you can think straight. Yes? No?


Isis said...

Drugs are bad, kids. You're NOT bad if you do drugs, but make no mistake, drugs ARE BAD.