YOU FAILED, Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen!
What? No photos of your new mansion and blogged this crap instead?
First, let's go back:
Funny Tila didn't mention about holding a contest to be featured in her upcoming musical porn video in this entry. And should she do, I bet she'll be pretending to make a contest, let alone, set it all up by manipulating everything to make sure no Tila Army soldiers wins! And what did happen to your I Fucked the DJ video? Were you being a cheap whore who's unwilling to pay like with Garry Sun?
I love how Tila tries to divert any stupidity's attention by making a non-believable excuse to hide the real reason of changing, or should I say, going back? FAILURE. When using that word on Tila, it resonates so pleasantly. Yes, call me a bitch, but I love to see that whore fail, fail, fail and fail she does!
So, I guess that means bye bye to Vince P and ILOVEBIGBOOBIES. I hope Tila gave Vince unemployment benefits or something for wasting his time.
For the past six months, let us congratulate Tila Tequila for successfully making the following list below a reality and accomplished!
1.) Highly anticipated celebrity gossip blog.
2.) Been busting her disgusting ass off working on her celebrity gossip blog.
3.) Real celebrity news, bringing us news "real time".
4.) It's not about Tila bashing random celebrities.
5.) It's a real celebrity news blog just like any other.
6.) Will beat out Piggy Dumbass Perez Hilton's blog.
7.) Perez's blog is old, Tila's up to date, edgy, and something new and fresh.
8.) Once we see Tila's new blog, we'll all be hooked.
9.) Tila's blog: Super, fun, and unexpected. Colorful, blasting with tons of personality.
10.) Even if you hate her, you'll love her blog.
11.) Blog to launch in April.
12.) After April, the world of celebrity will never be the same.
13.) She one thousand million trillion percent guarantee us that there are no other celebrity gossip blog out there like hers.
14.) Blog pushed back due to TilaMerch site.
15.) Her blog site is going to kick everyone's ass.
16.) Her site is "MAJOR."
17.) Previously mentioned it was the TilaMerch that was responsible for the delay of its launch, now states she hired a new team of writers.
18.) She's a pussy CEO slash boss slash mogul bitch.
19.) Whatever info she needed to collect from her new team of imaginary staff writers of 25-30, she had to hire another company to accommodate heavy site traffic she anticipated.
20.) Even though her site is not opened to the public, already the traffic is going bananas.
21.) Her blog is suppose to have cool features and pluggins that no other celebrity gossip sites have.
22.) Had amazing meeting with a partner who wants to be part of her imaginary team, thus, believes her site is going to kill every single motherfucking blogs out there.
23.) There were tons of people hitting up her PR team, asking to be part of it.
24.) Has a big office space with green screen and a huge film crew.
25.) Had confirmed to do an interview with a celebrity, saying "take that, Perez!" and only to discover it was some Russian Boxer most of the Americans wouldn't know.
26.) Her blog is going to be dope.
27.) Refreshing, new, totally loud in our faces (whatever the hell that means), extremely funny, and will actually have real celebrity interviews each week.
28.) Her blog is super duper duper duper fun and real news and tons of exclusive materials that no other bloggers has.
29.) Due to having tons of connections, have exclusive insides that nobody knows, and amazing things popping up, she had to push her site back. Not because of hiring new team of writers or getting a dedicated server from a different web hosting company.
30.) Her gossip blog is going to be the number one celebrity gossip blog in the whole world.
31.) Her green screen and other videos will be syndicated to TV stations all around the "word."
32.) Will have contests, and prizes include a chance of a trip to Hollywood, chill out with Tila for a day, go shopping while paparazzi chase you and her around.
33.) Tila will be "outing" few people that dissed her to get even.
34.) Her blog is extremely high-tech and have features for it.
35.) Will have tons of "sexy" (though whorish is the politically correct term) photos of herself as well.
36.) Will have make-up tutorials.
Yeah, I would be so in denial of myself if I was her, too. So much in denial that I have the nerve to think my celebrity gossip blog is still number #1 and dethroned Perez Hilton! Bravo, bitch!
In a mind of a narcissist, of course she would think that. After all, the world does revolve around her! It's also laughable she thinks half the celebrities on her failed failed failed ....FAILED blog are her friends!
You see, in Tila's mind, this is how she thinks: She doesn't like those who aren't punctual (quite an irony for someone who is always late herself), but then again, doesn't like it when you're early, either, and bitches about littlest things. Take the maids scenario for instance. Yes, she doesn't have them in reality, but let's just pretend she does.
INFERNO CANTO XXIII [notes] a painted people - the hypocrites in their gilded cloaks and cowls (line 64). Hypocrisy is the sin of appearing to be what one is not, in particular of hiding interior wickedness beneath a virtuous exterior.
The Divine Comedy
So, it never crossed her mind people have their own reasons as well? Tila, you are a one fucked up ugly-old-alien-looking whore that needs to die or simply go away. Oh, by the way, Tila threw us a lovely picture I found to express her love for us! Well, I thought it would be nice to return the same token:
Hello Kitty also likes to add exclusively for Tila Tequila:
FAILED BLOG uh oh