Sunday, January 22, 2012

8 Tila Tequila Just Got Corked By Chyna

Well, the winner for best celebrity sex tape 2012 is revealed. In my opinion, I am quite disappointed Tuna Tequila lost because all her life is evolved around masturbation, promiscuity, and among other sexual activities I care not to know. Who is the winner? Chyna. Her real name is Joan Marie Laurer, former female American wrestler turned pornographic actress. Perhaps Tila can become Chyna's protégée? Just a thought.

How the fuck Chyna won is really beyond me. I am disappointed, but is also surprised. It's like Tila participating in some musical composition contest and her competitor is Mozart. Obviously we know who possesses the real talent, but somehow, she won. That's the reaction I'm feeling right now. But, the winner is revealed, so congratulations Chyna for corking Tuna and taking the trophy home. Had Tila been honest rather than playing victim (like always) and actually promoted, she would have a better chance. So, she can only blame herself for failing again.

Maybe GQ really had an excellent point about Tila being among the least influentials. After all, Tila have not made an appearance in any movie that would make its way to your theaters back in 2011 as she'd predicted. The video, in which she talks about her "big plans", is set to private now. Hmmmm...dare I ask why again, Tuna? It's just astonishing to me that Tuna lost to someone who haven't lived a life of a whore. Not attention whore, but a whore who actually fucks anybody to get quick cash for drugs. Now it's cash, drugs, and fame. But, that's just my opinion about poor fragile Tila. However, Tila have confessed to doing drugs and fucking, so my opinions aren't opinions.

So, now we know Tuna lost for best celebrity sex tape award, does that mean she'll abandon her projects? Will she disappoint her army of idiots for 2012? It's not even February yet and already I smell shit. I'm sure Tuna will abandon her "Tila Army" website like her comic book and focus on her adult website instead, hoping some loser out there willing to fork over this sad piece of meat $500 dollars for an hour chat. Oh! The humanity!

Just recently, Tuna probably smoked a really bad pipe because you know, it's crack o'clock for Tuna, and tweeted these:
Of course, she says she was just joking, but for someone who charges $125 dollars for a fifteen minute chat, it really makes you ponder. You see, Tuna doesn't want to get a job that makes you get off your ass and actually do work, no, she rather sit on her cottage cheese ass not only to create new twitter accounts and tweet the same shit over and over again toward the haters, but expect money to be rolling in just like that. Well, good luck, Tuna. Good luck. While you say you're joking, there is half truth to these tweets.

Of course she would find this amusing because she doesn't know what's it like to have real fans. You see, real fans not only support for their idol's agenda, but worry about their health as well. I have yet to see fans do so on Tila's behalf. And while you may think she's joking about this as well, but she has in fact, created her own charity organization, the Jayden's Angels. You can visit the IRS charity page and look up "Jayden's Angels" and get zero results because duh, it's illegitimate. The Tilasrotspot team have written an article about Tila's alleged embezzlement. But really, after reading this peculiar tweet below, I'm sure your sentiment will be no different than to mine when it's clear Tuna doesn't give a shit about people but herself:

Jesus Christ. Why does every criticism and insults have to be core of jealousy? Oh, that's right. Because poor Miss Tila thinks she's THE most beautiful woman on this planet. Well, fact check, you twat. Tila, you are not, so deal with it. You lost to a woman who isn't that beautiful-looking either. Get over it. What? Are you implying the AVN and those associated with were jealous of your looks and deliberately made you lose to feel big? Pathetic. Really, truly pathetic.

And speaking of bigger fool, I wonder who really is, though. The bigger fool would create a fraudulent charity organization, fake pregnancy, miscarriages, fake adoption, fake suicide attempt, insist of being in many films for 2011 but made none so far, insist of becoming a Vietnam ambassador, insist of undergoing vitro fertilization, insist of working on Tila Army Comic book but yet to even start, insist of having your own fashion, but sell t-shirts that say, "Hater's can suck it", and oh yes, constantly lying.

Try harder, Tuna. Try harder.

And lastly, I dislike mentioning these tweet so diligently, but again. These tweets were posted back in August 2009:

Don't worry, folks. Tila is just striving for pity party and will live to see 2013. But, if she were serious, she should just get help.

First of all, you're NOT a solider, Tuna...........I thought you were commander-in-chief? Oh, wait. For a second there, I forgot you were playing make-believe. Secondly, it's going to take more than wiping tears away. For someone who says "I'm angry at the world" are usually people who blame others for their own mistakes. Yes, you are not angry at the world, but I don't believe you. You are angry at those who don't kiss your ass. Based on my own observants, you are not admired by the world. All the negativity were brought upon yourself.

Dear Tila, no one brought misery into your world. No one made you go through "trails and tribulations". No one made you to cut your own arm and film a lesbian sex tape. You did all these on your own. Grow the fuck up, stop blaming others for your own failures and take responsibilities of your own actions. You are not a kid. Everybody suffers. Hell, there are starving families out there while you have been privileged to not only live in a beautiful rented home, but travel around the U.S. to perform in strip clubs. You have been privileged to be in adult magazines and yet, you still whine?

Wow. Talk about being an ungrateful cretin.


FUYU said...

LOL the last part cracked me up.

It's true that there are people out there suffering to make ends meet yet somehow she does have a roof on top of her head and has "work" ... not to mention fans who literally love her no matter what. It's sad that she doesn't see it that way but has to over exaggerate and lie to those fans. The same fans are watching her waste away at the same time. Both sides are living in a fantasy world.

RC3199 said...

Tina is a true failure in every sense of the word.

Her one chance at fame (Shot of Love) has long since passed yet she must truly believe she can fake it until she makes it.

It must drive her insane watching the entire cast of Jersey Shore raking in millions of dollars a year as I can assure you she never made anywhere near that amount when she had her show on MTV.

Her only chance at making any real money at this point would be a career in porn but from the frosty reception her first attempt received it seems that that opportunity may have passed her by also.

Short of her shocking the world with something totally new and unexpected (Which is doubtful) her so called career is totally over...

Joann said...

I was checking the schedule for Showtime all last night and did not see the AVN award show on their programming schedule. I really wanted to watch it to see if the skank would show up. So sorry I missed it. I was expecting her to win also QOCAP simply because she's always trying to hide the fact she does porn, not because of her acting. I can't understand why the skank won't acknowledge her porn's not like it's a secret.

Does anyone know if she has her new websites up yet? Last time I checked she still had that old piece of crap website up.

I don't have FB so I don't know what's going on.

deluwiel said...

it just makes me laugh imagining the presenter walking up to the mic: "and the winner for Best Anal Release iiiiissss..... Big Wet Butts 4!" jesus. What an illustrious group to have her name and her work recognized by. Tuna should be proud just to be nominated. Truly a highlight in a career simply packed with shining moments. I don't know what in the world she has to be sniveling about. I mean, she keeps reminding us that she's got it all, right?

RockitQueen said...

I'm glad she didn't win. Now she STILL can't put "award-winning actress" on her resume.

necro-wafer said...

She really has no options left. At 30, she's too "old" to be of any use to MTV anymore, and now she's not even getting cred from the porn industry.

I saw her 3-minute spot on "NY Ink" and was appalled at how grimy and nasty she looked. It really appeared as though she hadn't had a shower in weeks, and was just caking makeup on top of whatever had been caked on there the day before (that's a typical drug addict "skin care" regime). I shouldn't be surprised by anything this dirty trainwreck does, but I was really amazed she had no idea what a greasy wet deck she looked like.

Monique said...


Tuna's fb page was shut down, so you are not missing anything there.

Joann said... you know why it was shut down? Thanks for the link to her adult site.