9 Old Habits Die Easy For Tuna Apparently

Did Tila Tequila really went to a rehab? I say hell to the fuck no. Here's how it all went down and explains why I think this is all bullshit:

Well, lookie here!

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

On March 6th (Tuesday), RetardOnline reports Tila was hospitalized for a week. So seven days ago, which was February 28th, this was her last tweet:

Prior to February 28th, I saw no indication of Tuna expressing melancholy through her social networks to predict another "suicidal" antic. This is not to say she was feeling otherwise because I strongly believe Tuna is a wretched thing who probably dances away her sorrows through drugs, drinking, having sex with random johns, and self-mutilation. A common routine in Tila's miserable life. Did I forget to tell you I'm jealous of that kind of life?

So what inspired Tuna to stage another suicidal publicity stunt? Well, the number one issue is the very fact Tila Tequila has zero talent, so woman's gotta use her mental illness to make headlines. However, headlines must be captivating, right? She could upload another video of "arm meet", but that's already been done. Pregnancy is done, too. Oh, wait...so is adoption, charity organization fraud, fake engagement...all done. What to do? Oh, what to do?!!! We hear the news of Whitney Houston and drugs were the cause of her death.

The news of Whitney Houston's death could be the spark, but I think it was the Oscars. It was aired on Feburary 26th, just two days before her "Jack & the Box" tweet. I think Tuna was watching that lame-ass show and started feeling angry and jealous because she knows deep down she'll never be nominated, nor participate in the Oscars. The only oscar she's participated in was for porn and even failed to win best celebrity sex tape for 2012. All those A-listers with true talent, beauty, money, and loved by millions of fans, those are the assets Tuna will never have.

I've been constantly told by Tila kiddies fans that I'm jealous of her. Really? It's like me choosing a weed over the rose. Tila is the weed, and the A-listers are the rose. Who do you think I will choose? Duh. A rose. But hey, creepy, yet dumb, obsessive fans and their mommie z-lister with a severe narcissistic personality, will never understand, so let them live in their own fairy world.

Anyways, rather than munch down on Cheerios and drink Snapple like a typical American, Tuna decides to take two prescription pill bottles to dance away her sorrows. Because RetardOnline had to add, "dropped from 100 pounds to frail 78," like it's anything relevant, I'm assuming those two prescription pill bottles are responsible for her sudden weight loss. But since it's been mentioned, I call bullshit on this one, too. Yes, Tila looks like a walking junkie skeletor, but she is not 78 pounds. It would be funny if she records herself getting on the scale to prove me wrong. "See, QOCAP? You bitch, I ain't no 90 pounds! Me 7-motherfa-king 8 pounds!"

Was in two hospitals during that week.
Let me guess: one hospital realized it was a hoax and told her and Gina to get the fuck out.

This source, although claims to be a male friend, wishes to remain anonymous.
Why remain anonymous? If Tuna was speaking the truth, my hunch would be Mr. Bradshaw, if not, Tuna just pretending to be this imaginary male friend.

Finally a friend came over after getting a strange text from her and found her convulsing on the bed.
If took two unspecified prescription pill bottles which caused Tuna to convulse, how did Tuna manage to text this source? Wouldn't dialing 911 be lot easier despite having slurred speech? The dispatch will immediately send an ambulance right away, Tila. I guess you wanted a real drama instead!

Roommate states Tila tried to kill herself all week.
And yet, this roommate did absolutely nothing? Some roommate you got there. Is it one of those slutty whores from Sweden who's about to be homeless?

Tuna went to a rehab that was in Florida.
Right now, there is no proof of Tuna being in Florida, just a speculation, including an eyewitness claiming to see Tuna shopping at a mall. Also, wouldn't it be a dangerous flight from L.A. to Florida after suffering brain aneurysm? Must be a very small one or else didn't happen. I choose the latter.

TMZ.com have records of obtaining celebrity police phone calls. Why don't they have one for Tuna?
Because shit didn't happen.

I'm no doctor, but based on my research, brain aneurysm usually occurs due to drug use, smoking, age, and head injury to name a few. It's evident Tila used drugs throughout most of her life. She brags about living a tough life, let alone, boast about experimenting with drugs in the first place, so it's safe to say drug use was the cause of it. But like I said since the beginning, it's false. The drug usage is real, but suffering brain aneurysm isn't. I also find it more amusing RetardOnline made sure the readers understand Tila's in serious trouble by stating, "she may have some permanent brain damage".

Then we have TMZ. I don't know whether or not they're trying to be funny or just ridiculing, but couldn't they find a more sensitive headline? The title is vague to me. To attempt suicide all week takes more than just swallowing pills...right? I mean, two bottles and yet, failed? Sounds more like crying out for attention. Like someone commented from TMZ, Tila is afraid to do it. And I don't want Tila to die. Not because I care about her, but because she relies too much on her looks and when she's 40, 50, 60, no perverted men would want to pay any attention to her...unless they have an old lady fetish. So to see Tila throw objects at any mirrors while screaming her head off because her so-called beauty is long gone, it's absolutely priceless.

Let's be serious for a moment here, folks. I need to address something. I'm sure this rule applies in California too, but how many times have we heard stories of idiots calling the police because of a bad hamburger and they end up getting fined for the misuse? Tila is a liar and how many times have she misused the emergency number herself? Let's see...

On January 6th, 2010, Tila refuse to give up Casey Johnson's dogs and when Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips shows up to retrieve them, Tila did what she thought best: phoned the police and the paparazzi. In the end, those dogs were taken away (thank god) and Tila ends up playing the victim, like always. Based on this scenario, calling the police was unnecessary. Nicky Hilton is somewhat a well-known public figure, so it's unlikely she'll do anything dramatic, let alone, call the police unless it was truly appropriate. Unfortunately, Miss Tuna felt otherwise and calls the police to attract media attention and hopes the audience will be on her side. Failed.

On February 9th, 2010, Tila calls the police because she thinks her alleged stalker is wandering around her premise.

On February 15th, 2010, Tila falls off from a chair...

...dented her head on a wall, and suffered a miscarriage because of it!

On June 6th, 2010, Tila uploaded a video of self-inflicted wound on her arm and a hater was kind enough to call the police. She was then taken to a local hospital. On June 24th, 2010, Tila admits the arm cut was a joke. Not only could the police really helped someone, but Tuna abused the emergency number, yet again.

The latest bullshit.:

I swear to god. Tuna is the exact opposite of the hero syndrome. Create an unsafe scenario, play a victim and wait for somebody, usually with authority, to come save her pathetic ass, just to feel that "care" she so seldom experienced while growing up. Wow, Tuna. Butt-hurt much? All these mentions sure proves Tila's life is more blissful than mine and my hate, jealousy, and anger is just a reflection of I how I really want to be just like Tuna, but can't, so takes it out on her. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Sure, thing.

While Tuna pretends to rehab somewhere, allegedly in Florida, another general bites the dust. In case if you're unaware, a general is a term used to express Tila's loyalist fans. The duty of a general besides ass-kiss, don't question authority 24/7, is to really do Tuna's dirtiest jobs: attack haters and famous celebrity bloggers if they wrote negative things about her. To ensure they remain loyal, Tuna pretends to offer them moderation privilege since June 2011, probably earlier, but this is the only solid evidence I could find right now. To this date, no moderation privilege has been initiated and due to these messages below, won't be initiated...unless these two generals changes their mind...

One already left the playhouse quite a while ago, but I have a feeling miss Step will return and apologize for this letter. Who knows if the third will follow suit. Speaking of expressing concern, I believe it's too late. First of all, the haters always knew Tuna had drug problems and few of them, including I, asked her to get help despite making fun of her. Of course, when I tried to encourage the army of idiots to tweet Tila to seek help, two subtly voiced little concern, who were the generals, the rest of "real" ones remained silent because they were too afraid of getting kicked out of Tuna's playhouse. That right there, says a lot. Tuna does not allow any "soldiers" to question her authority or else will get kicked out.
Idiots. Her fans would rather enable than encourage that midget to get help. How sad.

However, because of my status as one of the biggest Tila haters out there, one was stupidly flamboyant and tried to pull a reverse psychology on me. This troll rather care about me and not give two shits about Tuna! Fucking hilarious!

Oh, really?

Anyone who believes Tuna was in a 30 day rehab is a moron. I just don't fucking buy it. If she did went to a rehab, it would be for a short time with no positive results. In other words, Tuna will be the same. Once a lying drug-addict whore, always a lying drug-addict whore who will do anything and say anything to make headlines.

Brain aneurysm? Slurred speech? Consumed two prescription pill bottles, tried to jump out the window, convulsed, attempt to kill herself all week and failed? Nah. Just a publicity stunt, people. She likes to waste tax payer's money and divert emergency services away from those who actually needs it.

Why I think this is still bullshit is the fact her idiotic former porn-star manager did not remove Tuna's Dial-A-Star profile off that website while in rehab. Isn't this like, considered false advertising? You would think out of respect that dumb twat would take it down until she's ready, but no. Money is too important obviously. I wonder what's her next stunt will be: Someone kidnapped her dog? No, it's just so happens Tuna finally ate her due to crazy withdrawal syndrome. Since I don't have an addiction, I heard you go through these withdrawals. I can expect some wild tweets and bizarre behavior approaching! When do you think Tuna will start bragging about experiencing withdrawals suck and shit?

To end this entry, here's my sentiment about the whole thing: