16 Like Pregnancy, Like Location

This really isn't "new" news but something that got me thinking: Back in July 2011, Tila announced she's moving to New York city, looking for a roommate, and wanting to attend college because she wants to "live a normal life". Awwww...how adorable! I didn't know Tila lives an ex-ordinary life. Did you? While this may have come so sudden for us, but we have no clue what goes on with her miserable life offline (quite frankly, I like it that way) and if she was telling the truth, for once, she could have made this decision a long time ago and started packing her shit up. However...

Part of being a real celebrity is that they never get privacy. The point is, the media will make a big fuss about this. But when it comes to former reality-star bottom-feeding z-lister like Tila, the reliable sources don't give a shit about her so it's the tabloid websites, like TMZ or RadarOnline, that comes to her rescue! Have you seen paparazzi recording Tila moving her junk into a U-Haul van or asked where did she stored her shit while crib hunting? Or how about when she did, where are pictures or videos of her unloading her belongings? We all know Tila Tequila is a narcissist and an opportunist who will say or do anything to receive headline news (*cough* pregnancy, miscarriage, charity organization, Vietnam ambassadorship, adoption to name a few). We have heard worthless news about celebrities relocating and provided evidence of it, so why not her? Um, because Tila Tequila IS NOT a celebrity and credible evidence were not given to support her case as of now. "I am moving to New York" means shit. Since I am not a psycho, I don't have any desire to do some investigation and figure out about her new home. It's probably an alley where drug junkies and prostitutes frequent...or, she haven't moved at all.

I have read commentators voicing their concern for her dog, Onyx. Tila insist her dog was being taken care of by a friend while she's in NY...which is pretty ironic for someone bragging about being lonely and having no friends at all, but then claim having some. So maybe it isn't ironic. Tila says she's moving to NY, staying at a hotel, preferably Motel 6, while searching for mansion a house. Well, this was in July, now it's October. Obviously, it doesn't take a human being to find a new crib this long so what's the deal here? I'll tell you. I have a gut feeling Tila is still an L.A. resident and still living in that single-family home she calls "mansion." The motive behind this possible lie about moving is the same motive from previous lies: To be in the news. Oh, Tila. You poor dear. You know you're desperate when you have to lie consistently, let alone, make a lesbian sex tape for Vivid Entertainment to stay relevant.

Haven't you figured it out that your career is dead? You're too old to play a hot chick or become a pop star. So, what roles can be offered that fits your poor acting ability? Da Nang Hooker? You'll be in luck if Hollywood decides to do a Full Metal Jacket remake. Tila, dear, your only hope for income is to become a full-time porn star. Though, due to your old age, you'll be categorized under MILF (mothers I'd like to fuck) which is even better, considering the disgusting fact you try to be like Lady Gaga and refer yourself as Mama T. But, hey. Look at the bright side: You'll still have perverted fans and get to attend adult conventions.

Anyways, here's why I think Tila still lives in Los Angeles:

1.) No photos or videos of Tila moving her junk into a moving van. No way would Tila avoid calling the paps. She loves attention and this is like a meal to her.

2.) No photos or videos of Tila unloading her garbage to her new home.

3.) Three months later and no videos of Tila offering her fans a tour of her new place in NYC?

4.) Why haven't Tila updated her fan mail address?

5.) And finally, this video (thanks for the link, OfficialMsTuna), which was uploaded on September 26, 2011:


At 2:12 mark, Tila says, "I live in a house, and I used to live by myself and there's five bedrooms and it's a real big house. I have a dog--I have a pitbull. She's the best. And um...I have a bunch of hot girlfriends and...they're gonna be homeless in about a month, so I was like, you know, why don't you just move in here? So they're like, yay! They're all like, super hot--like Swedish girls, and, foreign girls from all over the place. Um, so they all call me "the Madame" and every night, I come home into the room and I'm like, *snaps finger* where's my money, bitch? *laughs* Give me the money! Um...*meth smack* no, it's really fun in my house. It's very lively. Um...*meth smack* a lot of...girl actions and girlie stuff going on......I call them "'my little slut whores.'"

Jesus Christ. Where to begin? Okay, the only truth that came out of her disgusting mouth is the part about living by herself and with the way she is, it's no wonder she's single. Moving on. Tila has a history about not only staying in a place less than a year before relocating once again (because of the stalkers), but has an embarrassing story about using a photo of a house that was on a market she claimed to have purchased, only to be caught lying. Turns out the house was in Thailand and Tila states she was moving back to Texas. You just don't know when to stop, do you, Tila?

Her L.A. home has actually four bedrooms, not five. Nice try, though. While it's not small, but it's not a mansion as Tila pretends it to be. Unfortunately, people with self-esteem issues and wanting approval and praise from people alike, will exaggerate anything and I mean anything. Was it necessary to say, "I have five bedrooms and it's a real big house?" when saying "I live in a house" would have suffice? Oh, and by the way, Tila does not own a house. She's a "proud" tenant.

Her hot girlfriends are going to be homeless in a month? What. The. Fuck? I smell more bullshit. Can't Tila make a lie that's more believable for once? Either way, let's pretend she's telling the truth. What an angel! We have been so wrong about her! Oh, no, wait. What the hell is this?

Wow. Tila. Really? You changed your mind because the lack of work? Oh, and it's very nice of you to take an advantage of these so-called "foreign girls" and charge them rent every night. In America, and I assume elsewhere, tenants pay monthly. Who the fuck pays per night? Not to mention, how the fuck are these hot girls, who are about to be homeless within a month, pay you rent per night? Also nice way to drain their remaining pennies! So...your *cough* mansion is a motel slash and a brothel now? Um, gross. Tila, your lies suck. A kid could do better.

So, in my opinion, I don't believe Tila lives in New York until I'm convinced. Tila can stay at some motel and place herself against a bathroom wall while recording and claim she's at her new house in NY. It would be great if the incident repeated itself if you know what I mean. Anyways, before I end this, I want to say the interviewer didn't seemed aroused by Tila's attempt of trying to sound sexy, but only end up proving herself to be a dumb ugly-face whore...Just say'n.

As Greg Savitt from the movie Mommie Dearest (1981) once said: "You were always the shop girl who fought her way to the top, made a great success. Well, you're not a little shop girl anymore. Now, that's the truth, to face and deal with, if you want to survive. The truth is, you're getting old."

If Tila was in her early 20's, I wouldn't find her attempt of sexiness as annoying as I do now, but honestly, Tila does NOT look good. She will literally become the next Jocelyn Wildenstein should she continue getting more botox and face-lifts. Sad. Truly. I know I'm sounding very shallow, but Tila's occupation is that of an adult entertainer where her looks are the prominent asset and for that, I feel it is okay to criticize her outer appearance as a fashion designer would criticize a model's weight. Tila is not sexy and she's just too old to play hot chicks. Her best option in entertainment industries is pornography where I'm sure many doors would open for her.

And I know this is even an older news, but hot damn I felt compelled to share it. Fabulous writer, Ghost Rider Radio, wrote an article of Tila returning her lambo back to her dealer! Hahahahahaa! Gold! Tila bragged, bragged, and bragged about purchasing a lambo and guess what? It was being rented out...just like her L.A. home. No wonder Tila's fun to blog about!