Monday, October 25, 2010

15 Tila Merch Ideas!

Awwwwww..her birthday is officially over. I hope the hag finally finished her crocodile tears by now and is having fun in Egypt with her friends, and at the same time, moving in her new three-floor mansion! Who knew she was omnipresent? Why couldn't this skank find a better photo of herself than this piece of scary garbage? It literally has the word, "psycho" all over the pic!
Oh. My. God. If anyone saw her ass, it's fucking cottage cheese. Definitely airbrushed to cover up that flaw.

In honor of Tila's claim to open up the Tila Merch online store (since 2007), I wanted to help give this whore some ideas!

Tila Tequila playing cards! She loves to gamble after all! Each card has its own unique quotes that was tweeted by the skank herself! So remember to ask your parents for Tila Tequila playing cards this Christmas!

The Tila Tequila Katana sword! Used as a prop for the Stuff magazine, now you too, can own a replica of this sword! 100% stainless steel! Hate Tila Tequila haters? Wanna cut them one hundred times? How you use this sword is your business! Please don't mail me what you plan to do with it.

Tila Tequila Amblien! Having hard time sleeping? Screw Ambien and try Tila's new sleeping pill product that is sure to knock a horse out in two seconds! FDA not approved.

Tila Tequila Suicide Kit! Tired of your life? Too much pain? Wanna just end it all? Well, today is your lucky day! Tila Tequila Suicide Kit comes with a small pamphlet of Tila congratulating on your attempt and offers some wisdom on how to accurately take your own life! The kit includes two piece of blank papers (one for practice, and the second, your final suicide note) and a small shard from Tila's broken night lamp she used to cut her arm with. Pen not included.

If anyone finds the suicide kit unfunny, go to hell or lighten up.


BigPoppaPhat said...

Yea that pic of her is hideous, the suicide kit needs a webcam to broadcast it on the web, also a bottle of cough syrup to use as a prop for blood.

Joann said...

On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate that picture -0(if that's possible). No explanation needed the picture speaks for itself.

Tila says she has TONS OF STUFF so why would she need ideas on what to sell. Put what she has to sell online first.

Now that the "contracts" have been signed there should be no hold up. Yea right. I could care less about "Tila's merchandise", all she's doing is lying and playing games like she always do.

Joann said...

OT for a sec.

Check this out guys,

OK this whole video was staged. Paparazzi(or some dudes she paid) reading a bunch of signs on the ground that are suppose to be about her.

You noticed Tila didn't act surprised when they were asking her about what was written on the signs.

She's not looking good AT ALL and why is this skank ALWAYS late for everything.

Queen of Copy and Paste said...

LOL! Would have been cool if it was not staged. Thanks for a good laugh, though. :)

hanah said...

@Joann I didn't get it... I mean the person who put those signs there must've been seen by someone? And why is "mansion" spelled wrong?

Queen of Copy and Paste said...

While I, too, ponder why they never caught the person leaving those wonderful notes, the mansion was spelled wrong deliberately. People compare Tila with Charles Manson. And since Tila boasted about purchasing a three-floor mansion, the person dubbed her as Tila Manson.

MissNeverWas said...

love the playing cards, I would def buy a set lmao..

Joann said... first I thought it was real too then it dawned on my why would people leave signs on the ground(what protesters do that), why wouldn't other people going into the restaurant see these signs.

If haters did this they would be walking WITH the signs held up to protest so everyone arriving at the restaurant could see.

That's what made me think some of these paparazzi, if they were real paparazzi at all, put the signs there when Tila was close to the restalurant(you know she told them what time she would get there), and right before Tila arrived they started filming then removed the signs when Tila arrived. That's probably why no one else saw these signs.

IMO, she paid these dudes to do this and probably picked a time when the restaurant would not be that busy.

The skank didn't asked surprised or puzzled.

She was grinning the whole time and the "paparazzi" didn't even show her the signs unless it was edited out.

She wanted to draw attention to herself and make people think the "haters" did this.

Only two things wrong with that....haters can spell correctly and would not have left protest cards lying on the grown. Funny no one saw these signs but the "fake paparazzi".

Abbie Normal said...

I love how all the signs are done in the same blocky writing. Tila didn't think to switch it up a little for each sign.

Her wonky tits were trying so hard to bust out of that dress.... bleh *shudders*

RockitQueen said...

OF COURSE she's pals with Michael Lohan and Kate Major. The three biggest media whores on the planet. If Spencer and Heidi showed up, the world would have exploded.

BigPoppaPhat said...

I can't believe radar even went with the story, the whole video was an obvious hoax and fake. She didn't have anything better to do on her birthday than fabricate another lie? With props? Lame lame lame!

@Abbie I noticed too that all the posters looked like they were done by the same person. They all looked alike. Then greaseball shows up like some kind of superstar lol.

Joann said...

LOL @ "I love how all the signs are done in the same blocky writing".

Right Abbie...what protest signs are made in EXACTLY the same style if they are saying different things and are done by different people?

Remember some time back, when the skank said HER paparazzi were going to cover some major event and to prove it to us she posted a picture on her piece of crap blog with her trademark name "Miss Tila OMG" written on a piece of paper pasted on the sidewalk in front of the event. This is what this makes me think of.

I guess when a lot of paparazzi from different media outlets all attend one event it's marked where each group is suppose to stand but I don't think they use a piece of paper scotch taped to the sidewalk to do it.

@RockitQueen...wait until her, Michael and this Kate person blow up. Tila can't keep a friend and you know all those egos can't get along for too long. I wonder if she's doing Michael or both for that matter.

Misty said...

Does anybody besides me wonder if Michael Lohan has read the open letters Tila wrote to Lindsey and then the subsequent flog post bashing her?

I mean surely you think Lindsey has come up in conversation. right? I was actually thinking that Michael Lohan was the better of the two parents - now, associating with Tila Tequila...ah, I have zero respect.

And who is Kate Major? Is she the chick that hooked up Jon Gosselin? Does she have a job? Maybe she will now work for Tila? This will all go south, and won't it be a site to watch.

Misty said...

Check this out:

I'm not a Lindsey fan. I do hope she makes a recovery. She at least has talent, unlike the whore goblin.

And what type of advice is Michael seeking from Tila? how to survive jail time? rehab? Maybe she is giving him advice. hmmmm!

hanah said...

@Misty those are my thoughts exactly! I actually had some sort of respect for Michael Lohan because although he chose the wrong ways, he tried to help his daughter. But now that's all gone, association with Tila is a crime in my book.

Yeah Kate Major used to date John Gossin and was engaged to Michael Lohan, I think he hit her and she was granted a restraining order but they seem to be "fine" again. She is/used to be a tabloid reporter, that's how she met John.

Off topic: Does anyone know what's with the alleged porn? Something in the milk ain't clean! If it existed it would be promoted/out by now. And I'm talking about the lesbian one from vivid, not the one she leaked to radar recently.