Thursday, October 21, 2010

11 Tila Merch! Opening Never!

Since 2007, Tila has been boasting about her own little online store called "Tila Merch". You can expect to purchase worthless, but highly expensive things (hey, might as well take advantage of their stupidity) like key chains, t-shirts that actually reads Stamp Approval: Tila Army (which will likely get you beaten up or ridiculed, depending on how much your classmates hates this whore) and only retards will think Tila Merch is the shit and nothing else. I know, sad, right?

That photo is quite unflattering. Not because it's sexist, because Tila's old and it's quite cringing to see an old woman striving to portray as a twenty-year-old. I bet her vagina is filled with dried-semen. Grandma Tila doesn't have the sex appeal. Just a slut-a appeal. I find it hilarious she's getting some guy to re-design her merch site when there was nothing on there to begin with except that coming soon message. Hey, maybe that's what she's re-designing! Anyways, some of the comments are post-worthy:

I want a Tila broken night lamp and a Jane knife. What about you?

So, now that Tila is trying to get her stupid Tila Iphone application and Tila Merch into works, she has these to work on:

And here's something that will make you go "lol" and "wtf":

You mean men's magazines, fool. Don't get so cocky.

That was bullshit! What a sad piece of meat.


Anonymous said...

Another great article - glad you're back! I think I laughed out loud when I saw her post about the store again.

I never saw those Fortune 500 VP tweets. It's been well over 5-6 weeks, and I don't think anyone found out about it, haha. SMH, as usual.

BigPoppaPhat said...

Haha those tweets are funny as hell! I'm sure the person giving her advice about ebay was deleted and banned too.

Joann said...

OMG, reading those old tweets had me rolling. I wonder what kind of hallucinogenic drug she was taking back then?

She has never stopped lying but the way she lies now seem tame compared to earlier years. Her lies back then were epic and mind blowing. lol

Tila claims she has TONS of merchandise but I notice all she ever mentions is her book, T-shirts and posters.

Now she is asking her AOI for ideas on more "stuff"? Why would she need ideas when she already has "tons" of merchandise waiting to be bought as she mentions time and time again.

I think we can safely say Tila has nothing to sell at this time but her book, T-shirts and posters and we all know this crap is at least 2 years old, probably more.

She has no graphic people to work with unless she's going to make Mr. Bradshaw do all the work. I'm sure those few weeks when she says her crap will be online will turn into yet another year.

hanah said...

Have you guys notices the "2012" calendar? I totally loled at that, she basically admitted that that stuff won't be out until at least sometime next year.

@joann: True! Her lies became kinda boring and less epic ever since her flog launch.

RockitQueen said...

I went to school with a girl who used to say all kinds of delusional stuff like Tila did. She was pregnant with Johnny Depp's baby. After watching "The King & I" in class, she revealed that the King of Siam was her real father. Things like that. But it got less funny when she accused a teacher and a family member of molesting her. Later on she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Sound familiar?

This makes it less funny in Tila's case because at least someone cared enough about the girl from my school to get help for her. I really don't give two shits about Tila, but I do care about others that she might hurt (like Casey and Merriman). I'm still waiting for her molestation allegations to come out. She hasn't pulled that one yet.

On another note, did you guys see this? Be part of the Tila Army birthday video! *vom*

Misty said...

Great post Qocap!! Some of the tweets I remember seeing before, but I still laughed out loud. What an awful delusional world this whore lives in. I would almost feel sorry for her pathetic slut ass if I didn't truly hate her. I think she has just enough sanity left to really be cruel. @RockitQueen's comment was really poignent (sp?). Tila has characteristics of many psychological disorders. This one included. I think the drugs only inflame her delusions.

And one of the main reasons I hate her is because of how she has hurt people. Casey, Shawn, and even some others like the Casa guy, Leo, Garry. And most importantly, the young/old impressionable people who follow and worship her in a freakish Heaven's Gate sort of way. I have some feelings of pity for those "fans". I can't imagine how utterly lonely they are in their own lives to believe that Tila is their friend and God help them, believe her "advises".

My offer stands - if this store opens I will buy all of you some Tila Merch - you'll be free to do what you like with it. I already have some plans forming.

Hannah said...

Wow, that article was pretty enlightening RockitQueen. Tila definitely met all of the criteria. I think she does have a severe mental disorder but has hurt so many people that she doesn't even have anybody in her life anymore. It must be sad. Which is why it's laughable that haters get called jealous. How could anyone be jealous? And how do her fans not see that she is clearly delusional in some sense? Or at the very least a pathological liar.

I've never seen those tweets before but oh man, hilarious. How could anyone take this girl seriously?

Misty said...

I watched to youtube video asking for birthday wishes to make the whore goblin a video. I am so disturbed, yet again. One I now have a visual of Paralyzed Queen - and she is looks like a young impressionable female. Two, is it me or does anyone else hear lip smacking, like meth mouth lip smacking. Three, I find it utterly creepy that this girl almost mimics Tila speech patterns - the hems, haws, the pausing, the repetition in her statements. And lastly, has anyone every talked to her and her friend - about internet safety. Who makes a youtube video posting your email accout? Repeating your name. OMG! SMH!

Joann said...

@Misty...I didn't watch the video and don't care to see it but I did read on her twitter her AOI's(Army of Idiots) are really gearing up to make her feel special on her birthday by sending her presents and such. SMH.

Sometimes I feel truly, truly sorry for them but a lot of times I don't. It's about 4 or 5 of them who are TOTALLY mesmerized by this skank. All I can say is they must be some lonely, unhappy people and need attention in the worse possible way.

MissNeverWas said...

Yesterday on twitter I think she was babbling on about some mansion she is moving into on november 1st. Apparently it will be the army mansion (yea right). Bitch keeps stringing these idiots along and they blindly follow

Abbie Normal said...

The Tila vibrator bit made me vomit...

I've never seen those Forbes tweets! Just when I thought she couldn't get any crazier in my eyes things like that pop up. How does she still have ANY type of following when she was telling such epic whoppers in the past that never came true?